Soft Drinks Again

Following up on my previous comments on the types of Dr Pepper (because this is something I'm sure everyone is dying to know), I tried that new Red Fusion Dr Pepper stuff a few days ago. I give it a big rating of "eh." It tastes like Dr Pepper going down, but leaves a not-bad-but-not-that-great-either cherry-ish aftertaste. Nothing to write home about. I probably won't be getting any more any time soon. Still tons better than the Caffiene Free DP, though.

Welcome to the Family-Unfriendly Buffy Fan Club, Rusty!

Think of the Children!

Wow. Worst family show. I'm glad we have people like that protecting us and our kids. They're so nice to us.

My most recent Buffy dream: Giles loses his Watcherhood (which he's probably done by now for all I know, but I'm only through the middle of the 3rd season) and hits rock bottom in various other ways too, and I think maybe Buffy also is no longer the slayer. Giles is kinda wasted-looking and he starts taking Buffy's clothes off and she says he shouldn't do that and he says something like "What does it matter now?" and she has to fight him off a little to make him stop. In the dream, it was actually me watching the show, and I said to myself, "I liked it better when they just had a father/daughter relationship, but I guess they have to throw every complication into the mix." It didn't make me happy at all.

My previous Buffy dreams were about Angel-as-vampire. He was pretty scary stuff.

Did I mention that I'm officially a Buffy fan now? Only I still won't watch the new shows, because I want to see them all in order. I might even get the DVDs one day. Maybe I should already so I won't have to spend a billion dollars at one time.

This appearance on the robot is dedicated to Buffistas everywhere

In my Buffy dreams, Buffy was rated the worst show for families. But get this: then it really happened. Because I'm mystic like that. Also: I am concerned for the families. And for the children. And for the familes with children. Etc, etc. And so on.

Put On the Aaron Copeland, Cuz I'm a Cowboy

What's Rusty's Ranting Robot without Rusty? Nothing, I tell you. So I'm back. Actually, I'm here: in Texas. Practically Mexico, though. I'm in the Rio Grande Valley. It's very pretty and very hot. It's a strip of cities where to the south of us is the Rio Grande and to the north of us is many, many miles of what looks like oil and farms and nothing much from what I can tell, until you get to San Antonio. But here is cool: Edinburg (the city I'm in) and the surrounding ones.

I'm teaching, by the way, at The University of Texas Pan American, composition and literature. I'm the one who looks like an undergraduate. Some people only know about my life through this robot, so I have to say this.

I'll tell my Buffy dreams later.

Odd Dream

I was sitting at my computer when I heard a commotion outside. I looked out the window, and there were two giant dogs running around out in the street. I mean giant dogs... lion-sized, maybe larger. Maybe the size of small elephants. One was all black, one was orange-brown, sort of non-descript shaggy breeds. They looked sort of lion-ish, and I kept wondering if maybe they really were lions, but they looked too much like dogs, so maybe they were part-dog-part-lion. My sister happened to come over to visit, and when she came in I asked if she knew if those were lions or dogs out there. She said she didn't know, but commented that it was weird seeing them running around out there.

Jason, you're funny. I enjoyed this post too much.

Thank you.

Tylenol Sinus Nighttime Formula

(A.K.A. Tylenol Coma)

It's the medicine that cures your sinus-related headaches and stuff by knocking you unconscious almost instantly, and keeping you that way until your sinus troubles have long passed. I just took some, so I'll see you all again sometime after I regain consciousness this weekend. Hopefully I'll finish typing this before I pass ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuiloihbnjb,'rbn b,

It's raining outside.

I keep trying to tell my dogs that the scary noises they hear during thunderstorms can't come inside and get them, but they just don't seem to understand for some reason and continue to hide under the bed...

Why? WHY?!?

Why do people say "Is it raining outside?"

Where else is it going to rain?

Dream I Had Last Night

I dreamed last night that I had just found out about the existence of a small outdoor movie theater near here in Clinton, Mississippi. It had a fairly small screen, and the seats were just concrete benches, and the ground was really overgrown with plants and wild vines everywhere (which was kinda neat and gave it an airy garden-like atmosphere), and they would only have one movie showing every day, but the cool thing about it was that it was The Star Wars Theater. Every day they'd have one screening of one of the original, pre-Special-Edition Star Wars films. (They even had the original version of Star Wars without the "Episode IV: A New Hope" subtitle on the opening text crawl.)

Um... German?

I like overdubs. I can't help it. If I want to watch a movie, I don't want to read it too. I like to look at the screen, because -- you know -- it's a visual medium. I can't understand German or any other language except English. I'd rather have a bad overdub that allows me to watch the movie than to "preserve" the language of the movie (which might as well be people speaking like The Sims) with subtitles.

Rusty Does Want To Rant... A Little

I think that they confused "bad" TV with "interesting" TV. Not just for Tom Green, but for most of the shows on the list. Look at all of them, and what makes them not bad (even if they were, technically, bad) is that they stood out from other TV shows. I mean where were the shows like Family Matters or Who's the Boss?? Those are the truly bad ones, along with a zillion others just like it, that are just vomit-ups of already-existing shows. You have to give something like Sheriff Lobo credit for originality.

I would write another We Like Media article, but it might just sound too much like my Tom Green Gets Razzied one. The general public is so f*cking boring to me. Thank God for individuals.

Com Pew Tah

It's fun fixing computers, once you're fixing them and not just cursing at them.

For those who are now scared to play The Sims because it supposedly killed Liza's computer: don't worry. It didn't kill Liza's computer. The Sims is one of the best games ever made, and you should probably play it once or twice to see if you agree. If you don't like computer games, you might like this one.

Gateway's "service" indeed sux. I've called them two times, and both times I eventually just had to figure out the problem by myself. They kept suggesting things that would indeed kill the computer. They're basically just kids with a troubleshooting guide on their desks.

I'm just home for lunch, so this will have to be brief.

Thank you

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Rusty for fixing my broken computer.

The Sims killed my computer

For those of you who don't know, I was installing some Sims expansions Sunday night after we got back from Jackson, and my computer had a meltdown. We were up until 2 a.m. Sunday night, on the phone with Noby from 1-2 a.m., trying to fix it, but Rusty ended up having to reformat my computer yesterday.

Everything seems to be in perfect working order, although I'm still missing several games and programs, but I'll get around to downloading them in the next few days.

Thanks, Again

So, once again, I'd like to publicly thank Rusty for saving me from doing something crazy, like taking my computer to Gateway to be fixed. Who needs places like that when you've got Rusty and Noby? (Thanks to you, too, Noby!)

Rusty wants to Rant, I know it

The Tom Green Show was rated #41 on TV Guide's list of the 50 worst television shows of all time. See the whole list of shows here.

Where's Tommy?

Tommy, I'll assume that since we neither saw you or heard from you this weekend, you stayed in wherever it is you live in North Mississippi with Danny and rocked the boat with recordings of music and what not. It was a generally slow weekend, so you didn't miss much.

Run Noby Run

Noby, let me take this opportunity to thank you for watching Run Lola Run, in German, with me.

Since you offered no comments during or after the movie, I'll ask you now what you thought. I know you'd seen it once before, but the second time around brings new thoughts, usually.

I feel the need, the need, for speed

Oh, and despite my comments to the contrary, I made the drive from your house to mine in 1 hour, 10 minutes. That's a record for me, I think. Of course I was driving 80mph half the time.

Ah...memories

When I was in college, I used to try and see how fast I could get from point A to point B (usually from Memphis to Birmingham/Birmingham to Memphis). I grew out of that eventually, the fear of speeding tickets helping me along. Hopefully I won't fall back into my evil ways of high speed highway behavior.

Balance

Actually, I think I've struck a strange balance...my highway driving has slowed down to just above speed limit speed while my in town driving has increased to about twice the speed limit. I often wonder at the fact that I haven't been pulled over on Hardy Street or 4th Street and been given a big, fat ticket.

Later

Okay, I've got things to do and things to do, so I'll bid farewell for now.

Rock Is Dead. Long Live Rock!

You ain't gotta defend nothin'. And, yes, you are Pete Towshend.

I had a similar affirmation moment when I first went to a Magnetic Fields show and saw people who liked his music as much as I did. Before that, I felt pretty alone. It wasn't a thousand screaming fans, though, but maybe 60 quiet fans. That was enough for me. And Tommy was there, too. And Ben Lee. And Ancient Chinese Garden.

Double-Meanings

I tend to think the skirting and flirting in lyrics is just people trying to hard not to say anything because they don't know how to say it or because they don't have anything really to say or because they're trying to make the thing they're saying more deep than it really is. I don't appreciate complete abstractions too much. One way they work are in some of the better R.E.M. songs, though. Like "Losing My Religion." The song is just about not wanting to say to much to someone you have a crush on, but the not-quite-saying-it makes it a better song (where you can ignore the "real" meaning altogether and make it about religion or whatever you like). However, the reason it works is because of the specificness of the lyrics. It's not the abstraction. In fact, it's pretty darn specific: "Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough." Early R.E.M. songs are good like this too. Like "Fall On Me." It's an environmental song, and it addresses the issue straight on, but it doesn't use the common words. It doesn't use words that the EPA would use. That's what makes it art in addition to being a environmental song.

So I dislike songs telling you what to do, too, but I think it's bad songwriting when it's just too abstract to mean anything, or when it uses symbols (usually symbols) so common the song can mean absolutely anything. Like "I'm sinking in a sea of darkness and my eyes are blind to the light that would bring me up into the sky so I have to keep falling forever and forever" or shit like that.

Neutral Milk Hotel

Neutral Milk Hotel is a perfect example of using very very specific words and images to get across meanings that couldn't possibly be told in a "normal" language. But listen to the specifics: "And she was born in a born in a bottle rocket, 1929, with wings that ringed around a socket right between her spine, all drenched in milk and holy water pouring from the sky" to pick one random line. They do what myth-writers do. But all myth-writers use specifics too. They're never abstract.

The Royal Tenenbaums

I still like Rushmore the best of the Wes Anderson movies (you know, Tommy's favorite movie). I liked The Royal Tenenbaums a little better the second time, though I'm still annoyed by the same things I was the first time: the nothing-but-symmetry shots and the way that everything is so overly-precious so that the real problems these people have are just kind of being toyed with and snickered at with intellectual snickering. But, yes, I think it's a good movie too.

Nerd?

Am I a dork for reading "Tommy Said" as Tommy Sah-eed at first?

Farto McTurdstink.

Tommy said

Tommy said I should post more often to the robot, and as his loyal and obedient servant, I am doing so.

Unfortunately, all of my internet time has been spent job searching lately. Jobs suck. Looking for jobs sucks more.

The Royal Family

In case anyone was wondering...I bought the Criterion Collection of The Royal Tenenbaums yesterday.

That there is a pretty good movie.

In other news

I don't really have any other news. Job searching, movie buying/watching, work, and sleep take up most of my time these days.

As a matter of fact, I'm going to quit posting now, bathe, and watch some tv in preparation for sleep. Ah, sleep...

And keep writing I shall...

I really don't feel my need to defend rock or its meanings. I'm just trying to imply its importance to many people (including myself). Rusty, you are indeed one of the lucky few people in this world that can bury stuff and let it go. Most people in this world cannot, therefore, they end up doing all sorts of crazy things. It depends on how much they let go and how much they hold in. The Beatles were magic. Plain and simple. They managed to walk that perfect line of being so many things to all people. But, The Who's music may actually may mean more to me in the larger picture. I know that it's really a matter of personal taste, but that's me. The reason why is because I relate. I think music should be able to be related to. You relate to ABBA, I do not, but it certainly doesn't diminish their quality. Same goes for 'Nsync, for that matter. I appreciate your clarification on the reasons you dig Destiny's Child. I understand the issues that are being addressed in the big Who songs. It may be because I'm just an overgrown teenager. I understand Pete Townshend's duplicity and contradictions. I'm full of them, too. Somehow, they all add up in the end to me. The great thing about a song is one that can be listened to in headphones and speak directly to your soul, then, you can sit in a room full of people and play it and have everyone sing along, and then, the next level is having it affirmed with thousands of screaming people in a stadium somewhere. Waving your fist in unison to that great anthem. It is important. You are made to not feel silly for turning up the volume on "Won't Get Fooled Again." You've affirmed it with many, many like-minded people. Rock shows can be those kinds of releases. As I seem to remember, Rusty, you're not a big fan of those either. Church, anyone? Why do people attend church? Maybe it's the same reason kids attend rock concerts. It's probably wrong. The Beatles were more popular than Christ, after all. I know for those of you that stand on that good old Rock of Salvation will win out in the end and I will be left with nothing but damaged hearing, but by golly, it's almost all I've got these days to confirm that I am real. Maybe that can change. Alot of folks have commented on The Who's decision to continue their tour a couple of days after Entwistle's death. The more I've thought about it, I know that it's the right thing to do. The only thing to do. The release. It's all about the release. So, whereas you feel that Mr. Townshend is merely trying to get at the big problems, I think he succeeds. Quadrophenia works on so many levels because of this. Eddie Vedder (another purveyor of angst that I happen to like, and Rusty happens to dilsike) was deeply moved by Quadrophenia as a youngster. And, I know as a writer, you feel that his stories has many holes in them (they do). You can't get past the structure. This is precisely why they work for me. Rock music should never actually tell its audience what to feel. I usually don't like the stuff that does. It should always be open ended. This can always be a problem when words are brought into play. Another fine line that bands like The Beatles were perfectly able to walk.

Lyrics

I get really irritated today that if in a rock song you actually mention anything specifically. Hit something head on. You're upposed to skirt around it and flirt around it in a way, say, that a Stones lyric would, and maybe mention it in a sort-of double meaning, double edged way. I've always been frustrated with this aspect of rock, I don't get anything from that type of song. Like you sit down and listen to a piece by Debussy, one person can see the Arctic and another can see the Russian Revolution, you can see anything you like because there's nothing suggested by it than in a musical way. When you've got words, "I walked into the room and I picked up my spade, and I worked for the Revolution" type of thing, it's enough to kill anything stone dead.

In rock and roll, what you don't do is make people's decisions for them, you share their ideas and you share their difficulties and you share their period of frustration, but you don't say "the thing that you have to do now is get yourself a job, get a retirement plan. You don't do that stuff. You say, "Let's go get a drink and talk about it." Drawing a conclusion should never be the job of a good rock songwriter.

Maybe I make no sense whatsoever. I make sense to me, though. Again, it's the reason why people like certain things and other folks don't. It's the difference between me and you, Rusty. But you know I love you all the same. Rock music is my release. I think you have different releases than mine. And perhaps I do harbor too much angst and really don't realize it all yet. My favorite movie is Rushmore, after all...

Tommy Fischer

And I like flowers too, almost as much as The Who.

I like flowers.

They are pretty.

Angst

I'm not carrying anything from my teen or pre-teen years. I feel I'm a minority in this. I had problems, of course, when I was growing up, since everyone has problems at all times of their lives, but nothing I'm still carrying with me. Basically, when I look back now, it feels that I had no problems at all. I don't feel I had any real problems until I became an adult. And I am still carrying some things from my earlier adult years, but I imagine those will go away before too long to make way for new ones. But, no, I don't really even feel there was anything from my youth to get over. It was all pretty nice.

So maybe that's why I don't like rock music. I do think lots of it is immature. I feel this way about a lot of stuff, though: that few things are adult. Lots of adult moviemakers, for example, seem to be re-treading their teen or college years. I know some of them are made for that audience, but many are not. And even the movies "about" adults are about what I consider immature adults.

So take like The Who (just to make Tommy want to write more): when I listen to it, I think it's trying to get at the "big problems, deep stuff," but that it's not. It's presenting it as if it is, like in the Tommy album. To me, even the stuff that Pete Townshend sings about in his solo career (or at least what I know of it) seems like stuff that people should have figured out and been over by, say, age 17.

But take like The Beatles: I think they were pretty adult. I think they covered deep stuff without blinking, not making a big show of it. George and (less so) John's solo stuff was like this too. Even their early stuff about boys and girls had a certain maturity to it. Once again, The Beatles win.

So the stuff I like is either "adult" or "candy." In the case of Merritt, both. Adult music is mature, and candy music isn't but it knows that it isn't: therefore it's not like immature rock music trying to sound mature while not being mature at all. I like the honesty of candy music. This is why I can like Destiny's Child better than Pink Floyd.

Maybe nothing traumatic happened to me when I was young, and that's all it is. Maybe more people have traumatic childhoods and teen years. I'm a lucky baaaa.

Rusty.

Response to Rusty

I never questioned your intent on recording music. I think I could make an entire covers album, and might like to do so. I think it's magic that you rerecorded an entire album and I love you for it. I don't have the patience to do that. I like your 69 Love Songs. I like them better than Merritt's. And I said that I understood the feeling behind destroying an intsrument. It's all about the emotion. One of the differences between me and you, Rusty, is that you somehow remove the raw emotion behind music and there's something far deeper (or spiritual) motivating your tastes. Or maybe it simply strikes different nerves in each of us. This is why I can listen to Pet Sounds and weep while you simply may think that it's very nice, but "not all that." Again, we have common occurences, such as Neutral Milk Hotel. I think that album moves us for the same reasons. Same with Weezer's Pinkerton. But I do know that it totally tees you off when guys like Stevie Ray Vaughn are making faces or whatever while playing ("Does that help them play better?"). It's emotion. I don't jump around and act like an idiot because I think it's fun (it is), but because that's simply what the music does to me. And if I whack the shit out of my bass or throw it on the ground, I do it because sometimes because simply playing it isn't enough for me. Rock music goes that deep for me, I guess. And that's the fundamental difference between me and you, Rusty. You simply do not like Rock Music. You never have. You like some music that may rock, but not Rock Music on the whole. You don't like the new Weezer record as much because it a rock and roll album. But you do like pop music (I do too).


Pop Versus Rock
Pop music is wonderful, it's essential, it makes the day go by, it makes us happy, it makes us sad, it's good stuff. There's never been anything wrong with it...But Rock always set itself a slightly higher target which was to try to share big ideas, big problems, deep stuff. Particularly the problems that you tend to carry with you from your teenage years. I think we carry alot of teenage stuff with us to our deathbed. I don't think we let it go and I think we're formed in our teenage years to some extent. The person that leaves home is the person that becomes an adult whether they're ready for it or not.

And then there's the other difference. You've got God and I've got music. Maybe music really is my God. You don't need it because you've that the real deal. I've just got these loud guitars and broken instruments.

Tommy Entwistle

Organized Ranting

Marty McFly

I got not only that time travel email, but I've gotten a series of them: like 3 or 4 different ones. So they're getting around. I thought it was odd too. I prefer them to most of my junk mail.

Pete Townshend

Your love of Mike Nesmith used to feed my hatred.

69 Lovers

What's to figure out? It's good music, and it's fun to do covers, so why not cover a whole album? Lots of covers are pointless, if they sound exactly like the original song or don't add anything, but I feel that mine add something. Also, I want to present it as a present to Stephin and Claudia when I'm done (and maybe as MP3s to the fans that they can download for free -- of course, else it's illegal -- on some site). And you know me, I care more about concepts than anything. I'm the Garry Shandling of music.

Religioso

You wonder why I like recording music, but you think it's normal to destroy instruments? Now who's confusing? Jesus might get mad at you worshipping rock music. :)

Sonic

Conceivably, you can get a Chocolate Coke or a vanilla Sprite or anything at all at Sonic. It's magic.

Rants and stuff...

I really have nothing to rant about these days. Life is still good for me. I still like 2002. Beside a couple of bad things, it's been a bowl of oysters. Speaking of which...I really want some oysters. I'm a picky eater, but I enjoy the seafood. I mean real seafood. Not this MS home grown catfish stuff. I like the clams and shrimp...you know, stuff from the SEA.

David Bowie's new CD is really good. I picked up a couple more Alex Chilton solo records recently. Rusty, what's your deal? You should like Alex Chilton more than you do. Then again, I've stopped trying to figure your taste in music a long time ago. I'm even to the point of making you your very own LX compilation, so you won't listen to it. Yes. That's how desperate I am. Like Flies On Sherbert is a brilliant, wreckless little masterpiece. Mr. Chilton is truly one of the fathers of indie pop/rock. Along with Mr. Reed. Those are the granddaddies as far as I'm concerned. But Rusty probably won't like LX because I like him so much. I think Weezer is the only band (probably The Beatles) that Rusty and I both share a common love/adulation for. In most other cases, if one of us likes a band or artist a WHOLE LOT, the other won't. Oh, yeah...we both like REM, but I don't know why anymore. There's a couple of middle folks we both kinda like, but it seems the more I love Pete Townshend, the more inclined Rusty is to hate him. It's like my love feeds his hatred. Is that a rant? Can that count?

I picked up the new Beach Boys collection as it was compiled by Brian Wilson himself. Yeah. I'ma sucker. Capitol Records can always sucker me for a buck when it comes to The Beach Boys and The Beatles. I have every single song on this compilation with the exception of the "bait." The bait is a new Brian Wilson song called "California Feeling." Plus the packaging. I am a nut for pakages when it comes to my music. So, while there are still tons of albums I need/have to own, I shelled out another 15 bucks for basically one Brian Wilson song and a bunch of pictures I already had and some goofy liner notes written by Brian ("I really sung this one good.") I love him ,though. Maybe that's a rant, too. Or maybe just a confession of my own stupidity.

I really also like Rusty's new installment in the 69 Love Songs Trilogy. What's up with Liza? It's great, but almost pointless. I guess it's no longer my job to figure out Rusty and his music stuff. I've said that already, though. It's still a good listen. I should stop analyzing and just enjoy music. Wait. That's the secret to my whole life! Stop analyzing things and simply enjoy them. I should be a freaking guru.

The Who's bassist, John Entwistle died last week. He was a monster bassist, really. The Who decided to go on with their current tour. The early reports have been really good. The first leg of the toru ended yesterday with Pete smashing a guitar. I love that man. I know most folks think it's pointless to do such a thing. I probably couldn't explain the need for it. But I'm sure it had to do with a sort of cathartic release. Pete has been known to pummel guitars into submission, something I have been unable to do myelf. I try, but I haven't gotten there yet. When the guitar is smashed, it becomes almost a release of the the poor instrument. "I have tortured you all night and now, you will be sacrificed." Like I said, it probably still doesn't make sense, but I totally buy it. My religion is Rock and Roll, so...
Tommy Presley

Dangit

The rumors of Giles becoming everyone's favorite Time Lord have been greatly exaggerated. It does seem like an interesting idea, if they could only make it happen. At least we still have the eventual Ripper series to look forward to. (And, according to various rumors and stuff I've been reading online, the Buffy cartoon seems to be back in the works, after the Fox network's cancellation of their entire Fox Kids lineup put it in limbo.)

Hope everyone's enjoying a fun and safe Fourth of July weekend!

More shopping rants

Had to go to Wal-Mart today to try to find some Stewart's Orange and Cream soda (one of the best things ever), which it seems is getting harder and harder to find lately, and dammit, it looks like they've stopped carrying all the Stewart's stuff.

If you're ever at a Wal-Mart and they have to get a price check on something, just forget it. Tell them to put it back. Unless you've got a good half hour or so to kill. Seriously.

There was this clown ahead of me in the checkout line. Really. As if I didn't have enough reasons to not want to be there.

The hell?

I've received some strange spam mail before, but this one is just... well... see for yourself:

Return-Path:
Received: from deputy.combox.de (deputy.combox.de [212.87.33.5])
by pike.netdoor.com (8.12.1/8.12.1) with ESMTP id g670HnWj004163;
Sat, 6 Jul 2002 19:17:50 -0500 (CDT)
Received: from www-data by deputy.combox.de with local (Exim 3.12 #1 (Debian))
id 17QzkH-0001PY-00; Sun, 07 Jul 2002 02:17:45 +0200
From: ()
Subject: Time Travelers PLEASE HELP!!! 11446
Message-Id:
Sender: www-data
Date: Sun, 07 Jul 2002 02:17:45 +0200

Hello,
If you are a time traveler or alien and or in possession of government or alien technology I need your help! My entire life and health has been messed with by evil beings! If you have access to the carbon copy replica model #50 3000 series, the dimensional warp, temporal reversion or something similar please reply! I simply need the safest method of transferring my
consciousness or returning to my younger self with my current mind/memory. I need an advanced time traveler to work with who can help me, I would prefer someone with access to teleportation as well as a variety different types of time travel. This is not a joke! I am serious! Please send a separate email to me at: Dragonball03@aol.com if you can help! Thanks

Scm5Odl5qmdZaWpZWWk6BUlZSQ==

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by
(oddc@) on Sunday, July 7, 2002 at 02:17:45
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

x: i

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

(To: line removed to protect the innocent)

It seems that variations of this email from what would seem to be one quite disturbed individual have been circulating around for a while now. A Google search reveals more of its history...

Robot Good

My magical post seems to have cured all. It took days for this thing to convert from "Rusty's Post-It Notes" to "Rusty's Ranting Robot." It seemed a better name, especially since we just call it the robot.

Time to BMT now...

Robot Bad

I don't know what the deal with the non-showing names are. I hope it fixes itself.

Re: Jason's Star Wars Rant:

1. Yes.
2. I might like Clones even better, but I'm stupid.
3. You bet!
4. I agree. And when he did get to talk, he got to "pull a Gilligan" and screw up, giving Palpatine the power.
5. For some reason, I almost liked the C3P0 puns ("What a drag"/"I'm beside myself"). I thought the same thing, though, that he was taking the place of Jar-Jar. I think Anthony Daniels somehow made it good. I was glad to have 3P0 back in business in this movie. I loved it when he put his hand on R2D2 for the first time at the end.
6. My list:
(1) Star Wars
(2) The Empire Strikes Back
(3) Attack of the Clones
(4) Return of the Jedi
(5) The Phantom Menace
(6) [This may go here, or any place above. This slot is not reserved for Phantom, since I liked it.]

Mesa C3PO...

I, Ranting Robot

Hmm... looks like whatever it is that displays our names below our posts is broken. Just so our legions of loyal fans won't wonder who it was that saw Attack of the Clones last night and ranted about it below, it was me.


(Oh, and I'm Jason, btw.)

I did it

I finally saw Attack of the Clones last night. (Probably the last week it'll be in theaters around here, too, since it's down to one screen in only one theater now, and all sorts of big new stuff is coming out. Kinda sad that a Star Wars film has come and gone so fast.)

Now that I have seen the movie, I can make the following statements of possibly varying degrees of controversiality:
1. Attack of the Clones is, technically, probably a better movie than Return of the Jedi.
2. Return of the Jedi is definitely a more entertaining and likeable movie than Attack of the Clones
3. Attack of the Clones is at least worth seeing for the Yoda fight.
4. They reigned Jar Jar in so much for this movie, it was horribly obvious and even off-putting. I swear he looked and acted like a dog that had repeatedly been beaten mercilessly by his owner, and was now terrified to step out from behind anyone to say anything for fear of his life.
5. Lucas still hasn't completely learned why the Jar Jar "humor" from Phantom Menace doesn't work. C-3PO sadly takes over for a few too-obvious instances of "Hey, look at me! I'm saying or doing something stupid and silly and funny to distract from the seriousness of what's going on!" (I'm specifically talking about those several cringe-worthy out-of-place and almost-out-of-character puns he spouts when Artoo's putting him back together in the battle arena.) It's still nowhere near as horrible as Jar Jar, so there is a definite improvement.
6. My updated ordered list of favorite Star Wars movies is now:
(1) The Empire Strikes Back
(2) Star Wars
(3) Return of the Jedi
(4) Attack of the Clones
(6) The Phantom Menace
(Yes, I'm ignoring the Ewok movies. They're stupid. The Droids TV series might rank slightly above or below TPM, but I haven't seen it in a long time, and it's not a movie, so it doesn't count for this list. And yes, TPM is deliberately counted as #6, despite the fact that there are only 5 movies on the list.)

One last thing: I read a Lucas quote not too long ago where he said that fans were upset at him because they were expecting The Phantom Menace to be more like The Matrix. Huh? Wha? Um, no. Maybe there were a few weirdos out there who for some inexplicable reason expected The Matrix in space, but I'm pretty sure most of us Star Wars fans were upset because we expected a movie more like Star Wars than what he made. He just... doesn't... get it. Sigh.

Shopping Rules

The widely-accepted rule is that any multiples of identical items are counted as one. Anything that the cashier can scan once, then hit a couple of buttons to multiply it by the number you're buying, that is. In theory, you could buy 358,741 two-liter bottles of Diet Mountain Dew and it would only count as one item, so that rule does have a loophole open to some abuse.

Does a bear wipe in the woods?

The thing that really bothers me about that commercial is the look on the bear when he uses the toilet paper. Like he's in a state of bliss--like he's thinking "Oh yeeeeaaaaah... this feels sooooo gooooooood!" Ew.

TV

TV is so much better when it's commercial-free and on your own time. Teevo (sp?) might be the way to go. TV on DVD is the best way, cause it sounds better and stuff too. But, yes, Steph should join us... She knows she wants to.

Bedtime?

You know, when the sun comes out, it's time to sleep. At least for me, but I'm traditional.

Bear Butts

I thought of the family of bears smiling and wiping their asses together too. It's just wrong.

Items

I don't know what an item is either. I tend to count everything as individual so as not to piss off Liza and Jason who always stand behind me in line. Like I count each grape. Well, maybe not each grape, but each peach. It's all so confusing.

TMBG

They Might Be Giants have a very good children's album out now called No!. No means no.

Ugly Cassanova

Modest Mouse's lead singer's album is also pretty snazzy.

The Magnetic Fields' 69 Love Songs Vol. 2

I've almost done with volume two, so Steph can think I'm even more crazy (in a good way). I'll finish Vol. 3 even sooner. I'm mailing one to Stephin and Claudia when I'm done, so they can kill me.

items

So I've always wondered this--what makes something an item and something else not? Like if you had two apples, is it two items or one? Or is it one only if you put them in a bag? And then if you can make two apples one item by putting them in a bag, then what if you put two boxes of the same cereal in a bag?

Car trouble
Jason, I'm very sorry to hear about all your car trouble this weekend. It frustrates me just thinking about it. My head probably would have popped off my body like a champagne cork. (I get frustrated easily sometimes.)

Potty humor
Speaking of happy toilet paper, you know what commercial really kind of grosses me out? The one with the bears in the woods using toilet paper. I can't remember the brand, but there's just something disturbing and icky about seeing a cartoon bear leaning against a tree, reading the newspaper, and reaching for a roll of toilet paper. Anyone else with me on this?

20 means 20, not 22
As far as the 20 items of less, I always try to be very conscientious about this. Sometimes, even when I really have less than 20, but it looks like I have more, I'll just go in the regular line. I don't want people to look at me and think I'm one of those 20 items or less rule breakers.

check it out
Those self-checkout lanes make me kind of nervous. They just make me feel like a cheater/thief or something. Don't know what it is...

Wish I Wasn't Here
(or Yet Another Member of the Robot Rants and Whines About Something)

Car was in the shop all week. Get it back Friday, just in time to go out of town for the weekend. Stupid thing dies a few miles from the house and won't start for about 45 minutes. I get back on the road and try to make my way back home (or at least to a convenient place where I can leave it parked and get indoors out of the heat) and it dies again in the turn lane right in front of the gas station down the road from my house. A police-assisted push and another 45 minutes or so later (not to mention phone calls to everyone in town I could think of, none of whom could help), I finally get it started again and make it home. Got it fixed today... turns out it was just one lousy stupid little corroded wire telling the car it was overheating, when it really wasn't, and shutting down the engine. A little too late for my trip, and I'm still pretty exhausted from spending all that time in the hot car, and my leg is all cramped up. Ow.

Well, Steph, it's pretty much inevitable that someday you're going to have a computer with a DVD-ROM drive (assuming you don't already), and you're going to be tempted to succumb to the DVD-watching obsession the rest of us here have. Of course, at least with watching shows and movies on DVD you can be in total control of when you watch, and don't have to sit through the commercials and crap they throw at you on TV... Join us... Join us...

Bedtime...? What is this... "bedtime" thing of which you speak, Steph? I'm unfamiliar with the concept.

This thing bothers me. I think there are some inanimate objects just shouldn't be turned into cute cartoon characters, and toilet paper is one of them. Think about this: It looks so happy, and it doesn't know what it's going to be used for... or it does know, and is still happy... Ew.

Maybe San-X is just running out of ideas for characters. That might explain the cat. Or maybe they're secretly using the cat to try to hunt down and take out Hamtaro and the Ham-Ham Gang as their popularity grows.

One of these days, I'm gonna actually remember to email Steph like I've been meaning to. I'm just stupd and lazy sometimes.

Minor annoyance of the day: Since Suncoast is selling trade paperback collections of Japanese comics at cover price, then why do they feel compelled to put price stickers on them? They're not even bar-coded stickers, just plain ones with "$9.99" hand-written on them. It already says that on the cover and on the big display that they have them in. The clerks just scan the barcode on the cover at the checkout, so they don't need it. At least it's an easy-to-peel-off sticker.

Less-minor annoyance of the day: I demand strict enforcement of the "20 items or less" policy at supermarket express lane checkouts! Do I keep getting stuck behind people who can't read? Or people who somehow lack the ability to count? I also demand more of those self-checkout lanes like they have at the K-Mart in Jackson. I rarely have any reason to go there, but damn those things are convenient.

Ending this on a non-rant-ish note: I don't know if anyone else is, but I'm looking forward to the Powerpuff Girls Movie in a couple of weeks. They're showing the Devo music video on Cartoon Network right now. Go Monkey Go!

all this buffy talk

Makes me sad that I haven't seen the show in awhile. But not sad enough to actually get a tv, because man I have so much more free time to do other things without that tv. Plus I can read about Buffy on the web, which is not the perfect substitute, but hey.

Instead, I've been seeing a bunch of bands that show up at The Black Cat--wish you all were here, because I bet you'd be easier to convince to come see shows with me than my friends here, who all seem to have a bedtime of 10pm. Ugh, the responsible world! I hate it.

But that's whiny! Wouldn't you rather meet the new San-X characters? Like the tissue paper dude. Or the cat. Which is just a cat. I can't believe they're calling it a "character."

Returning To Rant

Everyone should know that I tripped and fell (the excuse "um... I fell" seeming believable because of this experience) and busted myself all up. Nothing horrible, but bad for me, who never has accidents. I tripped on something in the hallway and fell on everything on the way down, mostly the piano, I think. I have a little scratch above my eye, two carpet burn scabs around my elbows, a toe that was in pain for a few hours, a left wrist that still hurts after two days (especially when I type: ouch), and a big scabby gash on my right shoulder that now looks like Smog the dragon. And it also bent my glasses, but I got them repaired today.

It's fun stuff.

GCEA are the notes you use to tune your ukulele strings. I always forget that. Maybe I should come up with a mnemonic device, you know, like my band. Good Cows Eat Ass? I was combining the piano ones.

I won't talk about media... I won't talk about media... I won't talk about media...

Okay, I have nothing more to talk about. I'm trying my best to get into rant mode. I'm trying to get off on a rant here, like Dennis Miller doesn't try to do. He was on Politically Incorrect tonight. I know that's media, but this doesn't count, cause I'm mostly just sad that that show's going off the air. I dug it very kindly. It has seven more episodes to go. I like you, Bill.

Here's to Bill!

In the Buff

What gives you the idea that there are Buffy fans on here?

For Buffy Fans

Got this message in my e-mail box....

Contributions are sought for a collection of essays titled Monsters and Metaphors: Essays on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Essays should focus on episodes from the first six seasons of the television series but may also incorporate the original film and episodes from Angel. This critical anthology seeks to position the series within larger social and literary trends and traditions. Welcome approaches include monster theory, liminality, gender studies, psychology- and sociology-oriented readings, comparative analyses, and cultural studies. Send 2-page abstracts no later than 1 October 2002 or inquiries to Christopher Weimer, Dept. of Foreign Languages and Literatures, 309 Gundersen Bldg., Oklahoma State University, Stillwater OK 74078. Email: CBWeimer@aol.com.

I'm back

All this week when I wasn't working, sleeping, eating, or lying in bed with a massive sinus headache, I've been spending almost every minute of time watching DVDs. I got the Buffy season 2 set this week, too. I haven't had a chance to watch it though, since my backordered-for-two-months boxset of Neon Genesis Evangelion was finally shipped to me this week, and I have been caught up in its insanity. And I use that word "insanity" in a very literal sense. For those unfamiliar with it, it's a Japanese animated series that starts out as a show about children who may be something more than ordinary children recruited to pilot giant robots that may be more than mere machines in order to fight giant genocidal monsters called Angels who may be exactly what their name implies. It then gradually takes the seemingly typical giant robot anime into directions such shows hadn't followed before its time, and eventually descends into depression, madness, schizophrenia, and what I can only describe as a nervous breakdown in animated form, seemingly tossing the plot completely out the window to spend the final episodes inside the mind of the lead character. (The director reportedly was dealing with a terrible period of depression in his life at the time, and it shows.) Trippy stuff. I wouldn't call it the best anime series ever, as the sticker on the box does, and I think it is slightly overrated by many, but I can see why it's passionately loved (and hated) by lots of people, and has been copied by lots of shows that came afterwards.

The Buffy season finale was good, and a good resolution to the storylines and themes of the season.

Overall, I think the season had some major problems (and Joss Whedon has actually said he's looked back at how a bunch of things could have been done much better), and it just meandered all over the place and dragged on too long in spots before the final few episodes where everything started falling into place and setting the storylines of Warren completely being corrupted by power and ambition and Willow being driven insane in motion. It might be better when viewed as a continuous whole over a shorter period of time, rather than spread out in chunks of new episodes interspersed with reruns over the course of a TV season. Maybe the pacing will work out better when I re-watch it that way.

I liked Xander's moment of heroism, proving himself once again the Heart of the group, saving the world with his unconditional love for his best friend. About time he got the chance and the guts to be the hero (and actually get recognized as such).

The development with Spike at the end was pretty interesting, and it should be fun to see where that goes next season. Interesting that the one character who was warning everyone all season long about the consequences of messing with powerful magic and wishes and such ends up asking for and getting something that's no doubt gonna cause him more trouble than ever before...

Okay, where is everyone?

I have finally received and watched the season finale of Buffy. I was very pleased and can't wait until next season to see what develops. Hopefully I'll be somewhere where I get the stupid UPN.

Jason, (and anyone else who watches and enjoys the Buffy) do you have any comments on the season finale???

Just so you all know, I rule the school.

I am the proud new owner of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 2. I had to buy it at the mall, Walmart and Sam's didn't have it, but at least it was on sale for $49.99.

There are a lot of good episodes on this season. I will slowly but surely work my way through them all in the next week or so.

Just wanted to share the joy with you fine folks. Now I bid you farewell.

I do post here, Lizard. But rather infrequently, I must admit. All that work to sign in and stuff. Wow. Thanks for the great compliment. All you Love and Letters watchers out there, I hope to begin work on my new/next solo record in the VERY NEAR FUTURE. Hopefully, it'll be ready by summer's end. "The Story Goes" is on the short list for being included. Pretty much all the newer tunes I've written are going to make an appearance. I also hope that Dr. Spell will be producing again. I plan on having a bit more "hands on" with this one, but I'd like to use the same type of approach. It's nice to record them and then just to let them go, and Rusty is sympathetic to some of those song's needs. Hoepfully, he can work is magic.
Speaking of all the music stuff, www.latelydavid.net went down for a while and Danny and I had to redo alot of it. The sad thing was that our guestbook went the way of the dinosaur. We need people to sign it, so get your booties over there to sign the Lately David guestbook! Say nice things, now...Also, there some new pics, so look around.
And while we're on the subject of websites being redone, the good old Tommy Burton Adventure had been facelifted. (Can "facelift" be a verb?)
Anyway, hope to see all of you soon...
Tommy Burton--Parsidential Aide and Confidante.

Jason, I would like to have one of those Buffy DVDs, but I'm not crazy. I'll just make due with my video copy and cd that Rusty made me from the video. I listen to that sucker at least once every out of town drive I make (by myself...I think hearing it once was enough for Rusty).

I am already waiting in line at the store to purchase Buffy season 2. (Not really, I'm actually sitting at my computer in my pajamas, but you know what I mean.)

(I'm all about the parentheses tonight.)

I made two somewhat noteworthy DVD purchases in the past few days. I got the special edition of "Memento" on Thursday night, and "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" last night. I've already sung-along to the sing-along songs.

I can't remember if Tommy B. blogs, but just in case he does:
Tommy just wanted to let you know that I've had one of your songs stuck in my head for the past couple of days, the "that's the way the story goes" song. I thought you might get a kick out of that.

I'm Freddy.

Oh yeah...

If you really wanna throw around some money on DVDs and get some more digital Buffy goodness, you couild get one of the many "Once More With Feeling" special DVDs that were sent out with Daily Variety subscriptions for Emmy consideration and are popping up all over eBay...

Those things are going for too much for me, though. I'll just wait the 1 1/2 to 2 years I expect it'll take for them to release the Season 6 boxset...

Hey Liza!

Welcome to the robot wackiness!

I'm all excited about the Buffy season 2 set. And hoping I won't have to wait to get a copy, since I gots bills to pay, and, depending on several things, I may end up being low on cash next week and won't be able to throw it around like Liza. :( I'll probably get it anyway and make myself skip some meals. I mean, who's got time for stuff like eating with all that Buffy to watch, anyway?

Random Thought of the Day

The guy in those Gateway Computers ads with the talking cow reminds me a little of Reggie Bannister from the Phantasm movies. Now they've got that new ad where the guy and cow are driving down the highway in a truck together, and the first thing that pops into my mind is an image of this guy and the cow driving into some small abandoned town and the two of them running around with flamethrowers and sawed-off quadruple-barreled shotguns, blasting evil dwarves and flying silver balls...

Just thought I'd share that.

Hello, all.

Not only have I finally joined Rusty's blog, I'm on Nyleva's, too. When I go, I go all out.

Jason, how excited are you about Buffy season 2? I can't wait to get my grubby little hands on those dvd's.

I think I'm going to pick up the special edition "Willy Wonka" and "Memento" as long as I'm spending all sorts of cash. I'm hoping Sam's Club will have all of them for some crazy discounted price.

Could be.

In Sink

Hmmm. The 'nSync guy wanting to go into space... Star Wars... space... the Star Wars program... Reagan... nuclear etc etc... hmmmm. It's all making some sort of terrible sense.

Is there an ongoing attempt to cover up a huge Hollywood scandal?

Contradictory stuff culled from various entertainment news websites:

Star Wars producer Rick McCallum's recent comments when asked in a radio interview, "Is it true that N*Sync shot some scenes for Episode II but they ended up on the cutting room floor?": "No, totally untrue. They’ve never actually done an album at Skywalker Ranch but they come and do, you know if they have a show they’re doing in London and have got some stuff they have to pre-record they’ll come up to Skywalker Ranch and actually do their music and they’ve always been great fans. And they came down on the set while we were shooting in ILM some miniatures and of course then everything goes out of control."

...and when asked about the same thing in a recent interview with Empire Online: "That was such a complicated, longwinded, unbelievable bunch of wank. I don't know where that came from. It is interesting. The only two people - and this is an absolutely true story - the only two people who have ever fact checked with everything that has ever been written about Star Wars is you guys and the National Enquirer. That's just amazing. I mean I don't get it but you guys are the only two people who have ever fact checked."

If that's true, then why did a Lucasfilm representative tell media outlets that they had in fact been filmed as extras in a scene, and that it was McCallum himself who had offered them the part?

Again?

And again?

(Note that the Lynn Hale credited with confirming the rumors in the E! Online articles is quoted on numerous articles from legitimate news sites and credited at StarWars.com itself as Lucasfilm's director of communications. Were these quotes by her completely fabricated? Could she have been lying? Deliberately misinformed by someone? Why on earth would anyone want people to think that this was happening if it really wasn't?)

Why did members of Nsync supposedly themselves seem to think they'd appeared as extras in scenes filmed for the movie?

So... is this some kind of huge hoax designed to make Star Wars fans mad? To embarrass the Nsync guys? Is there a concerted effort at Lucasfilm to backtrack over this whole sordid affair? Or is McCallum simply trying to cover up his involvement in this attempted crime against cinema? Who are we to believe? How the heck is "*N'Sync" spelled anyway? Will the truth ever be known? More importantly, does anyone really care? I sure don't. I do however think it's been funny following all this and watching everyone scramble to backtrack and vehemently deny everything about something so stupid. I'm sure this isn't the last we'll hear about this.

(I still haven't seen Attack of the Clones yet, but it has been widely reported that NSync does not appear in the final movie.)

Do I Like Star Wars? Yes, I Like Star Wars

I saw Attack of the Clones and I can't find anything wrong with it. I'm going to see it again soon.

Thanks for everyone who wished me a happy happy joy joy.

People tend to steal my ideas too, a la the Jason/Space Ghost experience. I have an audio commentary idea that I haven't done yet, but which I won't write here for Weird Al to steal.

I'm sorry everyone was sad over the robot being gone for a day. I didn't do it. I assume it was some maintenance thing.

I am now the proud owner of the Wet Hot American Summer DVD. Will gladly watch with anyone who needs to see one of funniest movies ever made.

Rusty.

Great minds think alike

"The way things are going, pretty soon the only shows on TV will be either Law & Order or Buffy spinoffs. Then they'll have no choice but to make Law and Order: Vampire Slayer Unit."
-- Jason Bell, 2/19/02 Blogger posting

"Format change: from now on, the first half hour will be about Buffy FIGURING OUT what the monster is, and the second half hour will be about Sam Waterston PROSECUTING the monster."
-- Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, 5/22/02 Bronze posting

Here it is

Never mind.

Where'd the robot go?

Its page can't be found. Poor lost robot. Of course, if you're reading this without being on the blog editing page, then I guess someone managed to find it, and everyone can stop looking.

Curse you, Space Ghost producers!!!

First they used concepts suspiciously similar to The LunchBots in their Aqua Teen Hunger Force show. I wasn't too mad about that, as only two of the three giant talking food products on the show are morons, and the situations on the show are pretty different. But now I see they're not content with simply getting their ideas from my website. They've now taken to stealing my LunchBots ideas straight from my brain, what with them doing a Space Ghost episode with an audio commentary on the show and second and third audio commentaries on the first commentary. I've been planning to do that for the LunchBots movie, but have been keeping it a closely guarded secret known only to me so that it would remain a unique and original surprise. Bite me, Williams Street Productions. I'm on to your evil schemes! You haven't stolen all my ideas yet, and I will one-up you! You'll see! You'll all see! Mwaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

congrats too!

You got the power Rusty Spell; let it show. Go Rusty Go. Go Rusty Go. Go Rusty Go.

Me, I usually don't drink soda, but I'm starting to like the weird lemon diet Coke. Even though I don't usually like diet drinks either. But for some reason the citrus-Cola-nutrasweet combo really pleases me.

I want to host a Kaiju battle!

I'm About to Go Graduate Now...

I don't have to say "I'm a college gigawatt anymore." (Not that I did as of five years ago, but that's beside the point of the joke.)

Yes, the robot lives. Sure, it might just be Jason & Rusty (and sometimes Y--I mean Steph) talking at each other, but I know non-writers read it. Someone referenced it the other day that I had no idea was reading it. So we're famous.

I'll have a "try all the caffeine-free drinks" spree one day. And then Spree itself. I think Coke might be the one I had as well. I'm just happy that they're making Vanilla Coke now. Used to, I had to rely on Sonic for that.

I liked Spider-Man too. I think I like it the more I think about it, and that I'll like it even better when I see it at home instead of with loud drunk people. Spider-Man was always my favorite too... he was always sort of a parody of Superman, and the movie did that as well. And it's those kinds of parodies that I like: where you barely know they're parodies at all. Parodies don't have to be all-out funny like The Tick or something.

Where is Spider-Man coming from? Oh where?

Dr. Rusty. Dr. Rusty Spell.

The Robot Lives

Yay! I'm not the only one who still remembers that there's a robot here!

Diet Dr Pepper is the stuff that's supposed to taste like the original (and it pretty much does, except for some small trace of something unfamiliar--almost a hint of maybe a metallic taste, if you ask me). Plus, it's still got plenty of the good caffeine content of the original to keep you going. I've had caffeine-free Coke before, and didn't mind it much. Caffeine-Free Dr Pepper however is an entirely different creature. (And I suspect it may, in fact, be a creature of some kind. Possibly that "black oil" lifeform from the X-Files--drinking it does seem kind of like drinking motor oil, or at least what I imagine drinking motor oil must be like, seeing how I've never actually imbibed motor oil.) It doesn't even taste much like the original, leaves me feeling queasy after drinking it, and is in general an abomination against all that is good in this world.

I exaggerate though. It turns out if you mix small quantities of the caffeine-free stuff in with the real thing, it can be safely consumed, and this 2-liter my horribly misguided parents got for me won't have to go to waste after all.

I liked Spider-Man. Really, really good for a comic-book-to-movie adaptation. Very true to the spirit of the character and the story. I simultaneously get a kick out of and frustrated by a lot of the dumber criticisms of the movie I've read from people. (There's this really laughable one on the Aintitcool.com talkbacks that I can't stop thinking about--the poster says that the fact that Aunt May never gave Peter his pancakes (actually wheatcakes in the comics) or that May and Ben never gave Peter the microscope they did in the comics somehow ruined the impact of certain scenes, but then goes on to suggest that Mary Jane become the Black Cat in the sequel--which is a totally different character... Hopefully a joke post, but not too far removed from a lot of other rantings about the movie.) I think most of them just don't get the point--that Spidey's not supposed to become some badass who does everything right and knows what he's doing, gets the girl and becomes a huge winner. That it's about his struggle to grow into a responsible man, even if it's at his own expense and not the cool thing to do. He's "the Woody Allen of the superhero world" as Stan Lee has called him.

I don't have Quicktime reinstalled on this thing yet (Quicktime and my computer never got along much anyway), so I haven't seen the Kaiju Battel footage yet, but judging from the rest of the site... uh... yeah... heh. Godzilla & Power Rangers-style monsters in real-life wrestling matches, heh.

Yay for Dr. Rusty!

The Return of Rusty

I'm not sure if I drink soft drinks for caffeine or not. I don't think I do, but maybe I'm just an addict and am not admitting it. Maybe I'll attempt caffeine-free and see if I still want to drink it as much (isn't this the stuff that actually tastes about the same?).

Starwoids. I will just refuse to believe this.

Spider-Man was fine. It didn't blow me away, but it was better than most of those big hyped-up movies that I get so excited about and then hate.

I couldn't get the Kaiju stuff to open, but I'll try again later.

Rusty graduates Friday. Fun times.

you guys have to see this

If you haven't seen it already. I don't know what to make of it, really.

http://www.kaiju.com/video.htm.

Huh

The Free Comic Book Day website is working again (it couldn't be found when I posted last night) and their comic book store locator claims that there actually is a shop within a reasonable distance of me, contrary to the phone book and other sources I've tried. Maybe it's really, really new. Guess I'll have to go try and find it.

Superhero Weekend

Spider-Man opens today!

This Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. Go to your local comic book store and get a selection of some free comics from a bunch of different publishers. I would, but as much as you'd think there'd be a comic book store around here, there aren't any that I can find.

Something I did not know.

Apparently Star Wars fans are known as "Starwoids." I've loved Star Wars for almost all my life (granted, I've never gotten into all the die-hard fandom around it or much of the "Expanded Universe" stuff, nor am I one of the type of folks who camped out in front of theaters for Episode I and went to see the movie wearing full Darth Maul makeup), but I've never heard this term before. Is this true, or is it something that was just made up for this documentary thing? Do people actually call themselves this? It has an even sillier/nerdier/more insulting sound to it than "Trekkie" if you ask me.

Caffeine-Free Dr Pepper

What is this stuff good for? Isn't the massive caffeine buzz the reason for drinking Dr Pepper anyway? This caffeine-free stuff is marketed as a beverage, but it sure ain't for drinking, I can tell you that. Could it possibly be put to use as some kind of alternative fuel source or something?

Reminders and/or Announcements of Biggest News

We Like Media is up and running, the website devoted to intelligent (we think) articles about all kinds o' media. Featuring stuff so far by Jason, Tommy, Noby, and Rusty.

The Mnemonic Devices' Sparkling Objective Correlatives is the best new album of 2002. Hear it to believe it.

Dusting the cobwebs off the robot

The ninja-related announcement I mentioned a while back is still pending, just delayed for a while due to lazine... uh... being swamped with other projects.

I was browsing Usenet the other day, and this posting gave me a laugh.
Manimal!

Nobody knows who you are

This suddenly reminds me of talking about the Electric Company Spider-Man and singing the theme song with mine and Steph's old elementary school friend Allison on occasion.

I've gotta add that I'm really enjoying the Amazing Spider-Man comic book again these days, especially after years of mediocrity and endless storylines about Spider-clones and rewriting of previous storylines seemingly for the heck of it that drove away most of the book's readers (including me). It's now back to the basics, about the seeminly ordinary guy who's able to escape his frustrating life and have a little rewarding fun by fighting bad guys and helping people--and you don't have to have read four comics a month for the last few years to be able to keep up with what's going on anymore, thank goodness. I think they should have realized something was wrong back when they had to start putting two pages of story recaps in every issue of almost every comic Marvel published...

I'll start working on some We Like Media articles soon, just as soon as I finish up a couple of personal projects I'm working on right now (and when I stop procrastinating), so your Tom Green article won't have to be alone forever. How many will have to die before then? Only the We Like Media page counter knows.

Spi-Der-Man! (See Company, Electric)

Spiderman was always my favorite, as well. Not that I ever read superhero comics. I read stuff like Richie Rich and Archie. I was never into those "boy" things... just kid things. I only had one G.I. Joe, and I called him G.I. Joe (he was Clutch). I never watched the boy cartoons. The closest I got was He-Man. I liked The Smurfs and Muppet Babies. I know I've said these things before somewhere, probably here. But, yes, Spiderman is the best. He was the funniest. Everyone says they like Batman because he's not superhuman, but what's the point of that?

If we can stay in one daylight time mode, I pick the one we're currently in. I like more sunlight than less. I don't know if we're in the normal time or the DST right now, but whatever we're in, I like best. Of course, if we must have DST (which I don't mind too much), then at least it works out good seasonally: in the spring and summer, we get lots of light for partying on the beach; in the winter, it gets dark just in time for Halloweeen and for Santa Claus to come early. I dunno, maybe I do like it. But I won't tell Jason that.

Oh, wait...

"Did you know that your mama was a pelt? Did you know that?" --Yo! MahMa

Me Like Media Too

MTV decided to show the Tom Green Subway Monkey Fun special again last night, so I have it on tape now, too. Missed a new episode of X-Files to see it (which is probably actually a good thing now that I think about it, since it was apparently one of those "let's do a goofy episode to show off how clever we are" episodes, not to mention the general quality of the show these days). I appreciate the offer though Rusty.

I'm looking forward to Spider-Man too. He's my favorite superhero character--an ordinary guy who leads an ordinary life and can never seem to get a break, always struggling to follow his conscience and live up to his uncle's advice about power and responsibility, despite all the crap life throws at him even when he does do the right thing. What I've seen from the previews looks good, and I think Sam Raimi can make this work.

April is looking to be a really good month for animation DVDs--several Gundam discs, Osamu Tezuka's Metropolis (with the Cowboy Bebop movie trailer!), Evangelion boxset, Transformers season 1 boxset, Batman: The Animated Series Vol. 1, and the long-awaited unedited version of Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker.

I may have spoken a little too harshly about Angelfire, as their "contact us" form has reappeared, the bandwidth outages appear to have ended (for now), and they finally sent out an email about the change in the amount of storage space this weekend. We'll see how things go, though. (Bravepages does look like a better deal)

And now, a serious message about a serious and controversial topic:

Daylight Savings Time needs to be stopped. There is no need for it. If you find that you really do for some reason need an "extra" hour of daylight to work or whatever, then just go to bed an hour earlier, and get up an hour earlier on your own. Don't force your needless stress-causing wake/sleep cycle changes on other people's bodies. If there is some real need for having the clocks set an hour ahead, why do it only for part of the year? Why not make it Daylight Savings Time all year round so we won't have to bother changing our (both mechanical and internal biological) clocks at all? Who needs that hassle and stress?

It's no doubt an economic liability as well. How many hours of work are missed this time each year because people forgot to adjust their alarm clocks? Think about all those people feeling tired from having to wake up earlier, hurting their productivity on the job, hurting our economy in turn. I urge you all to write to your congressperson, urging them to take measures to ban this unfair, wasteful, stress-causing, and unhealthy practice. Join me in the fight against this oppression!

Headline News

Tom Green in Japan

I have it on tape. Mayhap it can be viewed by me again, and with you in the room. Or mayhap it can be viewed by you without me in the room. Whichever works best.

Tom Green in We Like Media

There's a new website now called We Like Media which writes a very intelligent article on Freddy Got Fingered. Okay, so I wrote it and We Like Media was started by me and whoever else hops in to help. You can find it here and see it in its little baby form!

The Lunchbots

They're pretty funny. Unfortunately for Jason, the next issue will have to be more than a recap. Or will it???

Angelfire

We Like Media is at Bravenet. Maybe that's the way to go.

The Mnemonic Devices

The group I'm most famous for has a new album. Read all about it here! Carrie "I Only Post Pictures" Hoffman even sings on it. Mayhap I'll play another show in Chalmette, LA so I can sell it to the eager teenagers. They loved me so there.

April Is Not the Cruellest Month for DVDs

I got Joe Versus the Volcano yesterday (it came out Tuesday). Mulholland Drive comes out this Tuesday.

May's Not So Bad Either for CDs

The new Weezer CD comes out in May.

... Or Movies

Has anyone heard that Lucas is making an episode two of Star Wars? Is this just a rumor?

Peter Parker Brothers and Mary

I'm also anxious about Spiderman. Me Like Media.

Art On Art

So while I'm writing articles about movies and music and stuff, I'm thinking, "Hmmm. Writing is used to talk about everything. Has anyone ever, like, painted a painting about a book, or taken a picture about a symphony?" It's interesting. I guess that's why writing is the #1 thing in the world, once you get down to it. I picked the right job.

Simon and Garfunkle

I bought their first album today. I decided I need them all (there are only five). They are one of the few 60s bands I listen to/own music of. The other are The Beatles and The Velvet Underground: I got all their stuff already. Anything else I have is just scattered songs here and there.

Glasses

I got two new pairs of glasses. One look kinda similar to, but better than, my old ones (which broke), and the others are not-quite Buddy Hollies. Less thick and pointy. I didn't go full-blown indie kid.

Emails

Everyone that reads this and is not a poster should write me here and tell me. I'm just curious.

Rusty.

Checking in

Haven't posted here in a while myself, so here's a big update on various assorted things I feel like updating you about.

• I'm feeling much better than I did two months ago, and I'm handling the Sucky Thing That Happened a lot better. (Not that it should be taken by anyone as a sign that my opinions about the situation or anyone or anything that happened have changed or that I'm okay with it or ever will be. I'm just able to be more civil and less overwhelmingly sad/angry/hurt about things.)
  
  
• My computer died last week. The operating system had been acting increasingly buggy the past few months, and then a botched installation of Internet Explorer 5.5 put the final unremovable nail in the coffin. It had a good run--seven years of constant upgrading, installing, and uninstalling with no major problems until now. The hardware was all fine, so I just backed up my files, reinstalled everything, and it's all back up and running again.
  
  
• I lost track of time while trying to save my computer from dying, and missed Tom Green's Japanese special. Strangely, MTV isn't re-airing it a hundred times this week like they do everything else. Someone be sure to tell me if you see it in the listings anytime.
  
  
• While I don't particularly care for the more gross-out stuff Tom Green does (mainly because I just don't like gross stuff), I do appreciate his style of humor. I think his critics tend to focus on his outlandish behavior more than the interactions and contrasts he creates between the normal everyday world and his craziness, and it's in those interactions and contrasts where most of the actual funny resides. It's like he says in this interview: "It's an interesting thing, especially from my show since it is so based on getting people's reactions. In Japan, it is the people's tendency to not acknowledge when someone is making a fool of himself, which I often do." It's just about not being normal or predictable or behaving as expected. Then again, it's often funny just to see someone acting silly.
  
  
• For those of you who don't religiously visit my website every day like you're supposed to, the big news of the decade is that there's a new issue of The LunchBots comic online now as of April 1. It's the first new issue published in about sixteen years!
  
  
• A warning to those of you who use Lycos's Angelfire or Tripod free web hosting services: For those of you who do religiously visit my website every day, you might have noticed that in the past few days the sections on my site that are hosted by Angelfire have finally been hit by the infamous frequent bandwidth limit shutdown plague that has siezed a majority of Angelfire and Tripod sites.
  
  It appears that they've switched from controling your bandwidth consumption by using monthly and daily limits to using hourly limits. The result is that now instead of them temporarily shutting down your site when you reach 1 GB in one month or 33 MB in one day, they now temporarily shut down your site when you go over around 1.4 MB in one hour, and that's just stupid. I mean, what's the point in having 20 MB of storage space if only one and a half megabytes can actually be viewed or downloaded by your visitors? I could be wrong about this, but they don't seem to be answering anyone's questions on their support forums about this lately, and their previous statements and the numbers back it up. They claim it's being done this way now to "protect" site owners from going over the monthly limit and having their site shut down for days at a time, but the way this works, even if you only use about 1/10 of your alloted bandwidth per month like I do, it's now possible for your site to be shut down for one- or two-hour periods every few hours--like mine currently is.
  
  So... that means that either there's a glitch in the system somewhere, or they're just being stupid about this, or they've got some serious problems going on there. (And let's face it, who in the web hosting biz isn't having problems these days?) Given their recent cutback from 50 MB of free space to 20, the fact that they didn't bother to inform any of their users about the cutback in the amount of free space or the threat of having your files deleted if you continue to stay over the new limit, and their removal of the "contact us" form on the Angelfire help pages, it's looking like us rats should be getting ready to flee the ship...
  
  
• New episodes of Invader Zim, which I maintain is the best American-created cartoon in a loooooong time are now airing Fridays at 9:30 ET/8:30 CT and Sundays 1pm ET/Noon CT on Nickelodeon--a network completely undeserving of such an intelligent, twisted, wonderfully morbid and cynical, and creative show (which is why they cancelled the show, so catch it while they're still contractually obligated to broadcast it).
  
  
• It's 4 in the morning and I'm drinking iced tea and eating leftover cornbread dressing from Easter dinner. Yummy.
  
  
• I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Ozzy Osbourne is a funny, funny guy. And the great thing is that he's funny without even trying or seeming to be aware of it.
  
  
• Speaking of underwear:
  
  
  
• Watching my Buffy Season 1 DVD set, I've just gotta wonder how far Joss Whedon had planned out certain characters' storylines when he got started with the show. I mean, there's major stuff that's happening later in this sixth season of the show (yeah, I've broken down and read some spoilers) that is seemingly foreshadowed waaaay back in the beginning, giving a really eerie depth to what seemed like innocent little jokey remarks at the time.
  
  
• Red Lobster is now running an ad with the same "Happy Together" song, but now with scenes of couples hugging and stuff instead of people getting to know friendly ocean critters before ripping them apart. Because nothing makes you feel more romantic than eating seafood, I guess.
  
  
• That's all for now.
  

Don't forget to watch the Osbourne family tonight on Jay Leno

Tom Green

So I know that Tom Green isn't exactly everyone's taste, but there's no reason he should have won all the Golden Raspberry Awards, or "Razzies," the award for the worst movies (I would say the anti-Oscar, but those winners are usually so bad that it doesn't mean anything).

He won, for Freddy Got Fingered:

• Worst Picture
  
• Worst Director
  
• Worst Actor
  
• Worst Screenplay
  
• Worst Screen Couple (for Tom and "any animal that he abuses")
  

He accepted his award, the by the way. Paul Verhoeven of the deserving Showgirls accepted his Worst Director once before.

Anyway, pick most any random movie, and it's worse than Freddy Got Fingered. Especially things that were mentioned that were apparently nominated, like Glitter (Mariah Carey--not that I've seen it) and 3000 Miles to Graceland, which I picked as worst movie of last year as well as one of the worst movies I've ever seen: one that wasn't just bad, but managed to insult and offend me, which doesn't happen often.

And as Carrie "Why Ape a Pretzel?" Hoffman said, and I said before too, it was original and different from anything else, which should be worth something.

Of course, I rank it up there with my favorite movies, and it's arguably the funniest movie ever made. And I'm really not too upset that it won, since the founder of the Razzies seems like an idiot asshole based on some of the quotes from the article I read, like "Tom Green set out to make something stupid and offensive. It's got bestiality, incest, child abuse. Uggh." Um, so do lots of "real" movies and stories. So, if John Wilson, the founder guy, is reading this, I'd like to publically call him an asshole.

I'll end with a list of the celebrities I can think of who I actually feel I love, if that's possible to love someone you haven't met, which I think is:

Tom Green
All The Beatles
Possibly The Osbournes

That's all I can think of. I'm not sure if I love David Lynch yet. I don't love Stephin Merritt, just his music. There might be one or two more, but I guess I don't love them enough to remember.

On a non-Tom Green subject, my glasses broke so I'm wearing my old ones which are huge and uncomfortable, but at least I can see. I'm getting a new eye exam tomorrow, since I probably need a new prescription anyway.

tomgreenfan14@aol.com

Wet Hot American Summer

I think I fell in a ditch with Tommy twice. One time I was driving, but he was there to cause it, cause some people are chick magnets, but he's a ditch magnet. MxPx should write a song about him.

Happy birthday to everyone, whether it's their birthday or not.

Nyleva probably mentioned Dressy Bessy, since I've gleefully watch her dance around the room to them before. Nyleva makes me happy when she dances.

Wet Hot American Summer is a movie everyone should see. It's a camp movie that doesn't have Edie McClurg in it, so that tells you how edgy and hip it is. It's got Janeane Garofalo. And Paul Rudd. And a zillion other people. I laughed me-hardily at it, and I don't laugh anymore or like anything anymore cause I'm a picky bastige.

My very last story ever for fiction workshop is up today, in about twenty minutes. And my very last reading at USM (as a student, anyway--I might get famous and come back) is Friday. The times they are a-changin'.

well wishes

Jason -- hope your thumb gets better, too! Same to Tommy regarding the ditch incident.

(And congrats to your sister, Jason.)

As for my birthday, I woulda forgotten, too, if it hadn't been for my dratted coworker, Deb, who made the whole class (including various EPA officials and assistant U.S. attorneys) sing happy birthday to me. After she had kept me out so late the night before that I was falling asleep in class. Embarassing. ;)

Did one of you here ever mention a band called Dressy Bessy, or am I just imagining that? They're in town next week.

"Ditches are bad. Mom always used to talk about the ditches."
--Buffy the Vampire Slayer quote

In case the secret government big brother computer system that monitors what we do and say on the internet is looking at this: I don't know what Tommy's talking about. I just let him borrow those DVDs to watch. Honest. He needs to go buy some DVDs of his own.

Ugh, I'm an idiot. I forgot about Steph's birthday last week while she was out traveling and helping to protect us from toxic chemicals and stuff. Hope you had a good one! (Hey, waitaminit... wasn't Danny's birthday last Wednesday, too? Or did we ever learn if Rusty was wrong about that?)

Ditches and stuff...
I'm still here, too. Somewhat. I feel that I've been so busy these days. What with me sleeping and working and occasionally watching a movie! Life is so hard. Yeah, right.
Jason, I hope the thumb recovery is going well. Cowboy Bebop is really really good. I enjoy it the most. Me and my illegally copied VHS copies. But they were copied from the the Jason Bell original DVDs, so that has to account for something.
I had a wreck the other night, I fell into a ditch. Big surprise. I'm gonna die in a ditch. Just make sure they burn me and throw my ashes into the river. A river is sort of like a big ditch anyway. A really really big ditch.
I'm alive, for now.
Tommy B.

i'm here!

Though just temporarily! Spent a week in South Carolina learning how to better sue polluters! Now I'm in Somerville, Mass., eagerly awaiting a Death Cab for Cutie concert on Sunday! That's all I have to say!

Rusty the Ruler Is Still Here

I went two weeks without posting. Not sure if that's a record or not, but I know I talk a lot. The way stars get big is either by being elusive or being completely non-elusive. I'd have to go the second route, though they're usually the crappier ones like Whoopie Goldberg who I want to shoot when I see her ten times a day. Her motto should be "Whoopie'll Do It."

Spent "spring break" (it's all the same to me) doing more school work than my non spring break, hanging out with Lori and Barbara (part II), hanging out with the elusive (she'll take that route) Carrie, writing new songs (22:01 is the current running time; I'm shooting for 35-45 mins), and most recently watching almost all the bonus material for Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Did I like the movie? Not really. I laughed at three or four things, and I didn't think it was completely terrible, so there you go.

We took Kiska to the vet today. He got shots. The vet said he should get neutered, but we're not sure we should bother his nut-sack and pink thing so late in his life. It would confuse him.

Yeah, boyee.

Where'd Everybody Go?

Okay, Steph's flying all over the place, and there was that guy that almost died or something the other day, I know that much. But where's everybody else been lately? Am I alone here now? Hello? Hello? Echo!
...
...Echo!
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...Echo!
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...Echo!
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...Echo!
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Well, If nobody else will post here, I'll just have to. Once you see the last item in my blog here, maybe you'll wish I hadn't. Remember, you guys made me do it...

You Can All Stop Worrying

Nothing more happened to my thumb after Sunday.

Who Won?

Oh darn, I missed the Celebrity Boxing special Wed. night. Spent the evening hanging out with old high school friend Karen, watching Cowboy Bebop (which makes five people so far that I've managed to indoctrinate into the "Cowboy Bebop Is Really Really Really Good" Club), so I'm not complaining. I should kick myself though for not remembering to set the VCR to catch The Job that night.

That Other Place Some of Us Post To

Is it just me, or does the Bulky Mail Truck break down more often than my real-life truck does (which is a whole lot)?

Obligatory Buffy Reference

Regarding the ending of this week's episode: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I bet they're trying to drive us insane too...

Hello Kitty... Oh My!

In my research of bizarre and unusual Asian pop culture artifacts, I've heard tales of this legendary object from distant shores, but thought that it only existed in myth--that surely even those wacky Japanese marketing companies would not make such an item. I was wrong. It exists.

Scroll down a bit to find the infamous Hello Kitty Vibrat... erm... "Shoulder Massager"

"Hello Kitty" indeed.

I'd give my right thumb for some Dr Pepper right now

THURSDAY: I was cutting out a Dr Pepper coupon with my X-Acto knife (since I couldn't find my scissors) and accidentally made a long, shallow cut across my right thumb on the... what would you call it? Front? Underside? The side opposite the thumbnail, whatever that's called. Not bad, just bled a little and stung sorta like a paper cut. Not unusual either--I don't know any graphic artist who doesn't get a minor X-Acto cut at least once a month or so doing something stupid like that.

FRIDAY: I bought a new jacket for the formal dinner the night before my sister's wedding, and while cutting off the tags (yeah, with my X-Acto knife), I manage to stab myself below the cuticle on my right thumb. Again, not a bad cut, but it stung and bled some.

SATURDAY: My sister and new brother-in-law gave each of us men in the wedding party these nice pocket knives. (I'm sure you see where this is going.) After the wedding, I'm at home checking it out, and without realizing it manage to slice my right thumb on the side. No pain, but lots of blood this time.

SUNDAY: I seem to have a splinter deeply embedded in the other side of my right thumb, possibly from moving the tables and planters and stuff from the church after the wedding the day before. No blood, but quite painful.

What will happen to my thumb next? Stay tuned and find out.

(Oh yeah, did I happen to mention that my little sister got married this weekend? I'm happy about that, even if my thumb isn't.)

Bastards...



I guess the disease he succumbed to in the stem cell episode did him in for good. Rest in peace, Kenny.

Or else they're just stringing us along for something big in the future... It's still funny either way, I think.

Dr. Turdbucket's Post-It Notes and Buffy the Vampire Slayer Discussion Forum

I forgot about that Simpsons episode with the lobster. Been a long time since I've seen that one.

It's official! Vanilla Ice will be on Celebrity Boxing, facing off against a special "Mystery Opponent." Who could it possibly be? Based on the other contestants, I think we can venture some guesses. Todd Bridges? Monica Lewinsky? O.J. Simpson? Abe Vigoda? The suspense is killing me.

Whoa, I just checked on the latest info before posting this, and I got it right on the first guess! It's Todd Bridges! Unfortunately, it also appears Amy Fisher's parole board won't let her do the show, and Paula Jones will be filling in. (And with that expensive new nose of hers too...

Because there hasn't been any Buffy-related discussion the past week or so, I just have to say that the Angel writers are evil. We've got over a month to wait for new episodes, and they give us not one, but two big-ass lives-in-the-balance cliffhangers to linger on. Oh, and it seems VH-1 has officially declared the Buffy movie to be a "Movie that Rocks."

I may have a major ninja-related announcement to make within the next week or so...

Rock Lobster

Liza and I have both been disturbed by that commercial. I'm surprised they can get away with it. That's even worse than the earlier one where they're playing something like "Nowhere to run to, baby, nowhere to hide..." and showing lobsters swimming as fast as they can in the water. I like hamburgers, but showing someone killing/bonding with the cow beforehand wouldn't make me want to eat them.

Anyways, they certainly made the lobster look cute in that commercial.

Everyone can officially call me Dr. Turdbucket now. I defended yesterday.

boxing tonya harding

Oh yes, I've heard. It *is* amusing! But I must resist the addictive (for me) forces of the teevee, at least for now. Spring has brought with it a bunch of bands to this area! (And I can finally afford to see them.) Belle and Sebastian will be here! I will see Death Cab for Cutie in Boston! So excited, so exciting. And I have so many books I still need to finish.

Jason--didn't you see the Simpsons episode where Homer bonds with this lobster he raised?