Monday, December 31, 2001

hi there!

Whoa, hey, dunno if anyone here even remembers me (I disappeared off the planet for a few months, or at least off this blog) -- took me some time to feel settled into my new job and new apartment. Geez, actually, I still don't feel settled in.... Kinda fell out of even reading blogs for awhile (though I guess I still managed to keep up with blathering on mine) -- just wanted to pop in and wish everyone a happy new year!

What's Moldy Peaches sound like? I've been on this Death Cab for Cutie kick, but I think I might be on a Beulah kick soon...

Abre Los Ojos was *great*, by the way. Haven't seen Vanilla Sky, partly because I don't want the Vanilla Sky to mess up my (very good) feelings about Abre Los Ojos.

Sunday, December 30, 2001

The Man Who Wasn't There, Etc.

While I was in New Orleans at the convention where they fuss over how to make a seven page research paper for high school kids, I saw The Man Who Wasn't There, the new Coen Brothers movie, the best one since Fargo. I never was a huge fan of Billy Bob Thornton, but I think he deserves some sort of award for that one. He may have already. Maybe a Golden Globe, since I've decided they count more than Oscars. Oscars are only a few steps more legitimate, to me, than Grammys, which aren't legit at all.

Tom Cruise: I like him okay, though as Noby phrased it, sometimes he's too "Tom Cruisey."

Do you have the Moldy Peaches or borrowed it or what? Congrats on getting 69LS. I'll be sure to mail you a copy of my version once the entire thing is finished (I'm on song 9 or 10 of Volume 2 right now).

Eric might be happy in knowing that when I bought my audio stuff, I did get a receiver with a DTS decoder (which I agree sounds much better than 5.1 Dolby Surround--it's the setting I always use when I have the option) and digital inputs. I'm sure he might laugh or cry at what I got overall, but -- as I admitted to him -- he's the audio god while I'm just Joe Consumer. My ears are sensitive and spoiled somewhat, but not completely. Eric rulz. I'll be sure to come to Eric when I get all rich (ha ha) and upgrade in a few years.

Oh, and everyone who knows me can be surprised to learn that I'm able to get around New Orleans pretty well by myself these days. I'm not quite the getting lost dunce I used to be, though I still surprise myself sometimes. I think it's usually lack of observation or only knowing one route to take and screwing myself if I diverge.

Bunnies aren't as innocent as everyone supposes.

Friday, December 28, 2001


Nyleva Rulz!
Media Okra

I'm out here! No, over here! I do very much enjoy reading at the robot since I can rarely come up with clever enough stuff to write. Jason mentioned the Vanilla Sky movie; it is a remake of Abre Los Ojos, an Alejandro Amenabar flick from 1997. I'd also like to see the original since I can barely stomach Tom (not Goose) Cruise.

We had an incredibly merry holly day. Eric and I drove down to the bayou in southern Louisiana and had a Cajun Christmas, complete with alligators pulling a pirogue, with his family. Every time we visit I learn new words (like pirogue and parrain). Before you know it I'll be wearing shrimp boots. Eric's family is so sweet and loving and cool. Everyone should be so lucky.

I'm on my way to listen to The Moldy Peaches right now, Rusty. I'll let you know what I think. Also, as an important FYI bulletin for R.W., Eric got me the 69 Love Songs box set. Breathe a hefty sigh of relief. Eric sure is a right nifty fellow.

We are looking forward to seeing Fellowship of the Ring this weekend. We'll attempt a Sunday matinee viewing at the only THX certified theatre in town. Eric's psyched, being the perfectionist audiophile that he is.

R.W., have fun conventioneering in NOLA tomorrow. Send my regards to the literati. And, beware of the bunnies.

It's funny what little things do to your life. We got a 5x8 rug for the living room floor the cover the speaker wires for the surround sound speakers, and it makes all the cozy difference in the world to see the rug there. It feels good on the feet and it's a "warm green" color (yes, that's possible: a warm cool color) and it actually seems to give the room space (or maybe it was just that Liza had to clear out that part of the floor to put it down that gives the space).

Twin Peaks DVDs

The more I think about it, the more it seems like the Super Professional Team took care of the look and sound and menus and all that for the Twin Peaks DVDs... and then said to the Wrapped in Plastic team: "Okay, if you want bonuses, you take care of it yourself." So they said, "Hey, we'll start with a interview with Mark Frost..." Good idea, but then they unwisely chose to show their dorky sides. Then they said, "Hmmm, how about a 'Talking Backwards' thing with the little guy?" Not so great an idea. "What about the pie lady?" Desperate. The "Intro to Lynch" thing was more like it, just for the stars, as was the "digital postcards" (which I think I watched all of, though it's really hard to tell since you have to play Six Degrees of Laura Palmer to see them).

Like I said, goofy but mostly harmless, a little nice.

What are the easter eggs? Just finding the postcards?

I've listened to one commentary so far. Dunham was pretty good. The script notes were good too for that ep. Glad they put the Log Lady stuff (even though it seemed like some inside joke between Lynch and himself). I'm also glad they put the "previously on Twin Peaks" stuff and wish they would have put the "next on Twin Peaks" stuff, because I remember those just being dissolves of five or six single frames from the show along with some mixed-up dialogue and sounds (very not telling at all, but still giving a taste--like a movie teaser, the best kind of previews there are).

The Rusty, Jason, Tommy Blog?

Is there anyone else out there? I mean reading, not writing, since I know the answer to that one. I don't mind if we're the only three writing, but I'd like to know if anyone's reading. Maybe I should stick a counter on the robot. If there's anyone out there, write me, even (or especially) if I don't know you.

New Orleans

Anyone want to go to New Orleans with me this weekend? You'll be by yourself for several hours if you do, since I'll be at the MLA convention, but you'd get a free trip... and then we could be free to get all the whores and booze the town has to offer afterwards. I plan on going Saturday, possibly Sunday (but probably Saturday). Probably early. Get there before noon or something, leave whenever.

t*mmy burt*n

It's a good recco. I sing it sometimes too. I haven't listened to it in a while, since I heard it so much when I first helped make it. I like it better than Mailbox probably, my first solo album.

Boogie Nights

Watched it again today. Good movie. Some parts reminded me of Vernon, Fla. this time.

Errol Morris

Everyone should watch all his movies. See what I think.


Noby and I were going to write a tribute/parody of Twin Peaks once to be called Jasontown. I'm not sure where that name came from. It wasn't from Jason Bell--in fact, I need to look over the "cast" to see if he's even in it... I'm getting Noby to email it to me if he has it. We came up with characters which more or less paralleled characters from the series and cast our schoolmates to play them. I think Tommy played the Andy Brennan character. I played the Coop character (of course, since I'm a pr*ck). Can't remember either of their names. Noby played Sherrif "Some Old President" (don't remember that either).

The Carpet Again

I was really just trying to talk about something non-media, but it didn't go too far. It was nice doing non-media last weekend, bowling. The high school kid was nice. He reminded me of someone. Although we still need to make movies. By non-media, I'm not ruling out the creation of media. Writing stuff and making movies and stuff. I think we should make some sort of movie ASAPossible. Maybe soon I'll get me an editing suite for my computer an we can go nuts.

Thursday, December 27, 2001

Not to mention, it's vinyl...

That Morton record is just that, a record. I'm talking vinyl, baby. I managed to hook the Jason up with some t*mmy burt*n. Is it as good as Tommy hopes it is? Probably not, but it never is. But the next one. I like it personally. I sing along to it. Then again, I know all of the words.

I got me some Elephant Man (It looks really good in its proper aspect ratio) and some Twin Peaks, so we're all cool now. Twin Peaks looks the best. I think it may be one of the best ever DVD presentations out there. Lots of wacky stuff (Do we need a ten minute interview with the Mar T owner?) and some funny "easter eggs." Now I need Dune and I'll be Lynched, until next year, that is...

The rest of my stuff was really good, but boring for most here. It was a good Christmas.
Christmas Again?

I enjoyed my Xmas with the Xians this year. The tooth fairy brought me some stuff as well.

I got The Langley Schools Music Project which is one of the best things put out this year (though it was recorded 76-77). Everyone should get a copy.

I got The Shining as part of my DVD collection as well as Boogie Nights.

And if I weren't crazy enough about Liza, she got me Twin Peaks: Season One, a nearly-perfect box set if ever I saw one. If it were just the shows, it would be fine with me, especially since they look really, really good, but there's also commentary (which I haven't heard yet), script notes, and a few little goodies on disc four (some of which are goofy but mostly harmless, and some of which are nice). I can't wait for season two.

Tommy got me Morton Downey, Jr. Sings, which you can buy at this online store for $25 if you like.

Liza also got me some cool guitar and snare drum ornaments which I'm now using as desk ornaments.

Jason got me Tag and Bink are Dead, bof' of 'em.

I got myself The Elephant Man and a home theater system.

The rest of the stuff isn't as media-based, so one one here is interested.

I thought The Guy Who Rules Over Circles was great as well. A+ from me. Sean Astin rulz!

I saw Scary Movie 2 tonight, which was mediocrely funny compared to the first one which I thought was aboveaveragedly funny. But part 2 has Beetlejuice from Howard Stern, so...

Perhaps more from me later? Perhaps.

Wednesday, December 26, 2001

Happy Hollidayse!

Hope everyone is enjoying the festive time of year. Santa Claus and the Birthday Fairy visited me (sadly, there was no visit from Hanukkah Harry this year), leaving me some nice goodies, like money and gift certificates for buying DVDs and Gundam figures with, as well as some clothes to wear, a pocket toolkit, and an I.O.U. for some more money because Santa maxed out his ATM withdrawal limit, and the bank wouldn't let him withdraw any more until after the long holiday weekend. (Don'tcha just hate that the bank does that even to Santa.) I got that t*mmy burt*n CD too. Amanda Claus hooked me up with the Twin Peaks Season One DVD set, so if I wasn't crazy about the girl before, I sure as hell am now.

I finally saw that big epic fantasy movie that everyone's been going on about--How High. (At least that's what it said on the tickets they gave us.) Beautiful, enthralling, entertaining, exciting, good, good, good movie. The Fellowship of the Ring, that is. My family and I didn't really go see a movie about rappers smoking dope, no matter what the movie theater people thought we should be watching on Christmas Eve.

Friday, December 21, 2001

Little things often come in small packages--but sometimes someone tries to be clever or funny, or is just really wasteful with packing materials, and puts them in a big package instead.

Saw Vanilla Sky Tuesday night. Slightly more people there than on Monday. It's lots better and much less typical-Hollywood-erotic-thrillerish than the ads for it looked. Cameron Crowe delivers some beautiful visuals and all the obligatory classic rock songs and references you could want, but something was just... lacking.

Maybe it's because I figured out what was supposed to be the big shocking surprise ending (which I won't spoil for anyone here) very early on in the movie. (Though I figured out The Sixth Sense in the first few minutes of the film, and I still enjoyed that.) When the first clue appears in the film, it stuck out from the rest of the film and seemed so incredibly blatant that I could barely suppress the urge to sarcastically shout out "GEE, I WONDER IF THAT WAS SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT???" Granted, I've probably spent a lot more time reading and thinking about the possibilities of the concept presented in the aforementioned clue than a lot of people have, which certainly helped me to fill in all the blanks.

It also didn't help when the movie theater stopped the film and raised the lights right in the middle of the film's big climax, and we had to wait almost ten minutes before we could see the final couple of minutes.

I need to see the movie this was a remake of (I'm too lazy to look up the title right now)--maybe I'll like it better.

There's some other movie that opened this week that I still need to go see. The Guy in Charge of the Jewelry or something like that.

Somebody needs to get me that t*mmy burt*n album.

I'd like to wish all the X-Men a Merry X-Mas.

3 days 5 hours 45 minutes remaining until X's birthday (observed)
1 day 5 hours 45 minutes remaining until some guy named Jason's birthday

Thursday, December 20, 2001

Often the Best Things In Life Are Little, and Sometimes Small

Non-busy movie times are the best. Liza all but refuses to go at night, and certainly not on Fridays. I'm trying to convince her that Thursday night won't be too hectic for Gandalf and Frodo.

I want to see Teen Movie, but I'll probably wait until videotime. I'll be watching Scary Movie 2 soon. I watched Moulin Rouge tonight, which was fun to watch for the music, but not for much else (unless you like the super-frantic-and-flambouyant way Baz Luhhrhisname directs). But the music was really cool.

I'd like to add The Moldy Peaches: The Moldy Peaches to my 2001 album list. I put it at #5. Again, I can't include Tommy's album, since I have to do with it.

So Merry Xmas everyone. Merry Xmas to all you Xians out there!

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

It's always the little things for me these days...

Well, the solo album is done. I have to admit, I'm both anxious and nervous about it's release. I think there are some fine songs on there, but I just hope somebody likes it. I've never ventured out with anything with just my name on it. I know it wouldn't exist without Rusty's guiding light, but it's still all me. It's great because it's very different from Lately David, but has my stamp all over. I'm positive that my next LP for Love and Letters will be completely different. I'll probably know what the hell I'm doing by then. Let's hope not, though. I'll say the record is like an indie rocking pop Dylan. But it's really probably not as good as all that. I suppose that's for the listeners to decide. I need input, and quickly!

I wish somebody would get me whisky for Xmas. The stronger the whisky, the sweeter the wine. That's what a wise blues man once told me. A blues sage, if you will. I also heard that you're not supposed to rock the do, but keep the do rocky...whatever the hell that's supposed to mean.

Hope everyone has the hap-hap-happiest Xmas ever. They need to. Ask for t*mmy burt*n this year. Then tell Tommy what you think of it after you listen to it twelve times.

My "best of 2001" list is right here.
T*mmy Burt*n

Sometimes it's the little things in life...

I had a good day today.

Tommy and I had dinner in the Northpark Mall food court, and I ordered a salad and Jr. bacon cheesburger from Wendy's. I didn't pay attention to the pack of salad dressing before I opened it and poured it all over my salad, realizing too late that they'd given me ranch dressing (which I don't particularly care for) instead of the thousand island I asked for. That ticked me off. But then I had my junior bacon cheeseburger... This was a damn good junior bacon cheeseburger. Possibly the finest junior bacon cheeseburger ever served at any Wendy's ever. You know how Special Agent Dale Cooper felt when he had a damn fine cup of coffee? That was me and my junior bacon cheeseburger today.

Tommy, Noby, and I seem have discovered the fun activity of going to the movies late on monday nights. There's just something fun about being three guys who've got nothing better to do at 10pm on a monday night than just go see a movie when there's hardly anyone there. We saw Not Another Teen Movie, which was completely jam-packed with parodies of and references to way too many movies that I've seen. Very pleasantly-surprising cameos in the flick.

I gets to hang out this week with the lovely Amanda, who's in town visiting family. I'm a happy boy.

It's sad about Tom and Drew, though. I was hoping those crazy kids would make it. If two normal, clean-cut, well-adjusted, and stable people like them can't stay together these days, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Rusty's use of the word "Japanimation" may not be considered by some to be legitimate or "politically correct" as Rusty says, but it's actually a far more accurate term than "anime." The word anime is simply a word the Japanese stole from the French to describe all animation. Disney's animated movies, The Simpsons, and South Park are all anime. (Yes, they actually do watch The Simpsons and South Park in Japan, and they're supposedly popular over there, too. Everyone knows it's Butters!)

Of course, if you really wanna get technical, the country isn't even really named Japan, but "Nipponimation" doesn't sound as neat.

Michael Jackson's gonna be sad when he notices the Elephant Man's bones are gone.

Monday, December 17, 2001

Who Didn't See This Coming?

Of course. Drew and Tom divorce. That's a rhyme.

I knew normal Tom marrying into Hollywood would be a bad idea.

Anyway, I got the Elephant Man. Not The Elephant Man DVD, but the actual Elephant Man. He came back to life.

Monday, December 10, 2001

Rusty Spell, Owner of the Gandalf the Wizard Goblet from Burger King

Tommy's Guitar

Now Tommy can play the 'nikcuS classic "Accoustic Guitar" [sic] anytime he likes... well, he can play it if he rips off two or three of the strings and breaks it in such a way that it can never be in tune. I mention this, because I know how Tommy loves it when everything goes back to 'nikcuS. You know, that band that's better than The Beatles. And just as beloved and charming.

Tommy's Album

Rusty doesn't love Tommy indeed! Rusty loves Tommy so much that he finished his solo album. That's right! Again, a la The Beatles, Rusty has taken Tommy's nine "demo" songs recorded this summer at Love and Letters Studios and spent a whole afternoon (a long time for a Rusty project) adding drums, organs, flutes, etc. to make a nice little album that Tommy can listen to and pick apart until he hates it (or at least the parts I added). Noby has heard it, and I'll be shipping it to Tommy soon since I wasn't smart enough to just leave it with Noby this past weekend. Or was I even smarter than I thought?

Rusty's Top Eight Albums of 2001

Because I only have eight (not including 'nikcuS, Rusty Spell, and The Mnemonic Devices, which I shan't include so Tommy will be even less mad at me). And assuming that nothing even more cool comes out between now and 1 Jan 2002.

8. R.E.M.: Reveal
7. Radiohead: Amnesiac
6. The Robinsons: Cool Down! Got It?
5. Rheostatics: Night of the Shooting Stars
4. Martin Tielli: We Didn't Even Suspect That He Was the Poppy Salesman
3. Stephen Malkmus: Stephen Malkmus
2. They Might Be Giants: Mink Car
1. Weezer: Weezer

Although the top three are very, very close. 2001 was an interesting year for music, especially since people who hadn't released "real" albums in five years did, like the Rheostatics, TMBG, Weezer, and (yes) 'nikcuS. And we all know how good 1996 was musicwise. Weezer won that year too. Oh heck, watch this:

Rusty's Top Twenty-Two Albums of 1996

Again, because I have twenty-two, not including stuff with me on it (of which there were four--2001 had three).

22. Enigma: 3
21. Sebadoh: Harmacy
20. David Bowie: Earthling
19. Tortoise: Millions Now Living Will Never Die
18. The Cranberries: To the Faithful Departed
17. East River Pipe: Mel
16. Ween: 12 Golden Country Greats
15. Johnny Cash: Unchained
14. The John Spencer Blues Explosion: Now I Got Worry
13. R.E.M.: New Adventures in Hi-Fi
12. Mono Puff: Unsupervised
11. Cake: Fashion Nugget
10. Rheostatics: The Blue Hysteria
9. Beck: Odelay
8. They Might Be Giants: Factory Showroom
7. Modest Mouse: This Is a Long Drive for Someone with Nothing To Think About
6. Nick Buzz: Circo
5. Belle and Sebastian: Tigermilk
4. Belle and Sebastian: If You're Feeling Sinister
3. The Halo Benders: Don't Tell Me Now
2. Neutral Milk Hotel: On Avery Island
1. Weezer: Pinkerton

Keep in mind that the top eight here are prime cuts for me indeed, and that the top eight here beats the top five from 2001. In conclusion, 2001 was an interesting reprise of some 1996 moments, but 1996 is still the clear winner. As is Pinkerton.

Things I've Bought Most Recently, Which Would Make Me Do a "Top Albums I Bought in 2001" List If I Kept Up with That Sort of Thing, but I Don't, and No One Cares About This List Anyway

The Gentle Waves: Swansong for You -- perty music
Belle and Sebastian: I'm Waking Up To Us EP (EPs weren't included on my countdown)

I guess that's all that constitutes "recently." I plan on getting the new-ish Lambchop rarities collection soon... like ordering it tonight soon. It's one of the things I don't put on my Xmas list for people to buy me since I can't wait that long. Of course, it's been out since September, and I just now found out, which makes me a bad fan. In 1996, I would have known (the looparound!).

Ben Folds

I like the music video (directed by Master Al Yankovich) better than the song itself.

Tag and Bink Are Dead

I'm tempted to get this just because I'm somewhat of a Tom Stoppard fan (not to mention a Star Wars fan, of course). And I thought never the twain would meet.

Jerry Orbach Almost Cries in Dirty Dancing

Thanks to Liza's obsessive TV watching, I know the Law and Order quote for the Japamation series in question (and, yes, I still prefer the politically incorrect term "Japanimation").

My Defense of "Special," Not That I Care To Defend It Necessarily, and Completely See Jason's Point

I guess "Special Edition" for a lone DVD would have to mean special as in "This present you gave me is special because you made it yourself" instead of "This potato chip is special because it's the only purple one in the bag." Maybe like "This is a special edition DVD, because we made it special. We made it count. We could have just put the movie, which wouldn't have been very special, but we made it all nice and special for you by putting the extra junk. Ain't that special?"

Woody Allen

I never saw a Woody Allen movie until this year (maybe last). The only reason I saw the first one was because I rented all the Edward Norton movies, and he was in Everyone Says I Love You. But then I rented Annie Hall because I felt stupid having a movie review page without having a review of that, and I thought it was... special (the looparound #2!). And then rented Manahattan. And most recently, Crimes and Misdemeanours, What's Up, Tiger Lily?, and Small Time Crooks. He's got a zillion, and I'm going to go through them all. I'll never be at a loss of what to check out at the store, and I never seem to be not in the mood for a Woody Allen movie.

I think I just thought I wouldn't like Woody Allen for some reason, but I was wrong. I was wrong. Forgive me, Woody, I was wrong!

Sunday, December 09, 2001

Random stuff:

  • Ben Folds rocks the suburbs. Just like Quiet Riot did.
  • THAT.

  • Star Wars: Tag & Bink Are Dead. Very funny. Good comic written by the creator of the short film TROOPS.
  • I can't stop thinking about this funny opening paragraph in this review of an obscure (and apparently horrible) anime series: "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime, and the crazed, profanity-spewing, shotgun-wielding cop with grenades stuffed down his pants. These are their stories." I'm tempted to find this video, just to watch out of morbid curiosity.
  • Is a DVD "Special Edition" really a "Special Edition" if it's the only version of the film or TV show available on DVD?

Hope everyone has a happy Hanukkah!

Thursday, December 06, 2001

Let the robot be the first to bear the news: Tommy Burton finally got himself an acoustic guitar. It's an AJ-18SCE. Just go to the "Acoustic Electrics" on the link and click on that model number. That's my new guitar, exactly. Now, I can be Bob Dylan, or maybe I'll get around to that solo record, but probably not...being since hpw Rusty doesn't love me anymore. One day we're gonna make FWN Part 9 and the next day, he's world traveling with Noby, hating my guts. What did I ever do to him?
Yes, IT is pretty funny, but I am amused by the hypre surrounding IT. I'm also quite amused at how IT brings out the funny in Jason. He always has funny things to say about IT and IT's creators. IT amuses me. Epsecially when I wake up and see people like Diane Sawyer riding around on IT.
Records of the year? Hmmm, I've gotten so many this year that I may not have a favorite. Short answer may be Weezer, just because it's the easiest, but I have gotten so many. Most recently, the new Ben Folds. It brings the good.
Apocalypse Redux. New stuff doesn't make the movie any better, but it's nice to see. There is a new scene with Brando that I'm quite fond of. Should he have done it? Sure, why not. At least he didn't airbrush the guns out and replace them with walkie talkies. Now I have my new Willow DVD. Elephant Man...this Tuesday...
That's all,
Tommy Burtundra.

Tuesday, December 04, 2001

Things That Suck or Are Stupid (In No Particular Order)

  1. It -- Here's the dumbest part: "It's got motors that do what your muscles do for you. It's got those tires that do what your feet do for you." We already don't walk enough and don't use our muscles enough in general. We're always having to invent new things (tread mills, walking tracks in the park, those things that zap you) to prove that. The other thing that's dumb is the sentence itself, which says "it's got those tires." It's got those tires..
  2. Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes -- Rented it tonight. I told Liza before we watched it: "I'm going to try really hard to like it just to spite Noby," but Noby was right. Boy was he. Nothing good about that movie. It didn't do anything. 45 minutes into the movie, and I realized nothing had happened. It looked like something out of a bad dream, one where I'm dreaming about the perfect example of the most empty movie I can think of.
  3. some other things -- I just really wanted to fuss about those two.

On the other hand I finally saw Neil Labute's In the Company of Men which was pretty excellent. I don't like to watch two movies in a row, but I had to wash the badness down. Now I have to wash that down somehow, though, but not for reasons of badness.

Christmas doesn't suck.

Monday, December 03, 2001

IT's here...

And so, the revolutionary invention that we were told would affect all our lives... the item that bigshot technology experts said was guaranteed to amaze and astound us all... the new mode of transportation which, according to its inventor, WILL REPLACE THE AUTOMOBILE... is this:

(Image from the fascinating full story at

Now we can all replace our non-motorized scooters that can tip over if we lose our balance with motorized scooters that won't tip over! Plus, it's super energy-efficient, so if you're too lazy to take your foot off your scooter and give it a kick-powered boost every so often, it'll only cost you about 5 cents a day for the scooter to do what your feet would otherwise have to. Legs? Who needs 'em!

Yep, Steve Jobs sure was right when he said that people will erect entire cities around "IT." Because there's never been anything like it before. A small single-person wheeled transport device that people can use to get around town at speeds of 12 mph with little to no effort? For a price as affordable as $3000? I mean, it's just plain unheard of...

In summary: "IT," a.k.a. "Ginger," a.k.a. "Segway."
A: Clearly not.

Okay, I think we can all go on with our lives now.