Not To Be Outdone by Jason on His Own Robot, Rusty Responds

SPOOKY SPIDER.

I always wanted to win Most Witty in high school. I liked the anachronistic word. "Goofiest" would have been more appropriate, especially for those who won. People named Kool-Aid, etc. I won Most Talented, but I'd rather be witty. I always thought my talent was witty anyway.

When I rented Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie, I wondered why they simply stuck an un-funny episode (not much changes to TV show) on film and called it a movie. I guess that's the joke? That we're sitting in a theater watching shadowed heads sitting in a theater watching their own bad movie and making fun of it while we're wondering why we're watching this one. Some sort of postmodern humor?

I'll probably get The Princess Bride Special Edition one day, though I saw it so much when I was a teenager that I haven't really felt like watching that movie at all in several years. I killed it. I'd probably just watch the extra stuff and tuck it away for a decade or so from now, maybe to introduce it to my kids or something (not that I'm having kids).

Of course, I'll probably end up singing some Sifl and Olly songs soon. Someone tells me they saw my name on the bill for an upcoming Hattiesburg music event, so I guess I could play them then. Nov 13? 14? I think it's funny when other people know more about my life than I do. I've had to take a long break from pretending to be a musician to do real career stuff, which has made me sort of ill. Cough cough.

I still love Mapquest. My life outside this house is based on it.

Mulholland Drive was indeed good. I won't give any of it away. I didn't mind the audience as much as Tommy, who seemed to mind them more than he liked the movie.

FYI, time travel: Jason and I don't believe in time, only perception/movement/growth, etc. Tommy, however, thinks that you can see dinosaurs if you have a strong enough telescope. FYI, the nature of God: I think that if we only use 10% of our brains, then God must be using the other 90%, and that's why he's so smart.

Jason and I will choose an animated Olsen twin apiece to marry one day. And by "marry," I mean have sex with. We would with the real-life ones, but we're not perverts.

We had a mighty convoy. Wasn't she a beautiful sight?

I'm still waiting for explanations as to why we had to dig around in gravel before finally parking several miles away.

My advice for Lately David: play in my back yard next time. None of us will have to drive as much, and I can get more people. People will show up for anything in Hattiesburg, and people here love me. I have fans. I'm adored by several. I have no confederate flags, or any sort of flags. I'd advise against throwing basses or any other Pete Townshend goofinesses, though, since we like our trees and rosebushes. Rock and my grass doesn't go together. I like rock so little that I think I might even stray from listening to "rock" music in its broadest sense. Like, Enya is too rock for me. Charlotte Church is too rock. Nothing that has drums at all.

So if not my backyard, then maybe Hattiesburg. The place I play at ("play" meaning "have played once" and "will place at least once more soon") always has a crowd of folks, and you get MONEY! People are there regardless, drinking beer, etc. No rednecks. And even if they don't listen, they've paid their $4 or whatever. So, even though Tommy insists that Rusty = Fake Non-Musician because he doesn't play rock or like Neil Young and Tommy = Real Musician because he breaks instruments and likes bluegrass renaissance music, I'm giving my fake modest opinion on how to play to crowd and make cash and drive very little. Not be as cold either.

I missed It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown last night. Liza doesn't care, because when I saw the commercial, she said, "You can watch it by yourself." She's Scrooge. I should make her buy it for me.

I need to see Home Movies if it's like Dr. Katz, since that was one of my favorite shows ever. I used to have six hours worth of that show on tape, but now I think it's erased over with porn or something. Damn me for not labelling.

Click here to email Liza Marshall about Buffy tapes. I'm sure she'd love someone closer than Austin, TX to be a UPN Buffy Buddy with her.