Wednesday, May 28, 2003

I, Robot, Am Dead

This will be the last entry to Rusty's Ranting Robot. I will not delete the blog, but I'm not linking it from my site, and no one will be allowed to further contribute. I feel that the following lyrics to the song "Jed the Humanoid" by Grandaddy will explain why the robot is dead.

Last night something pretty bad happened.
We lost a friend.
All shocked and broken.
Shut down exploded.

Jeddy 3 is what we first called him.
Then it was Jed.
But Jed's system's dead.
Therefore so is Jed.

We assembled him in the kitchen.
Made out of this and
Made out of that and
Whatever was at hand.

When we finished Jed we were so proud.
We celebrated,
We congratulated,
At what we'd created.

Jed could run or walk or sing or talk and
Compile thoughts and
Solve lots of problems.
We learned so much from him.

A couple years went by and something happened.
We gave Jed less attention.
We had new inventions.
We left for a convention.

Jed had found our booze and drank every drop.
He fizzled and popped.
He rattled and knocked.
And finally he just stopped.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

We Aren't the Robots

I'm considering destroying the robot. Anyone think this is a bad idea?

Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Publish or Perish in the Fiery Pits of Regret and Confusion

Tommy and I were talking last night about how we could make a million dollars if we changed the lyrics of Hank Williams Jr.'s "A Country Boy Can Survive" to "America Can Survive" and other appropriately-topical lines, and then Tommy turns on CMT tonight and Hank has already done it, playing to a screaming crowd, singing all the lyrics we came up with.

"Someone keeps repeating what I said one million years before it's said. It doesn't make me feel good."

Liam Lynch, the guy from Sifl and Olly (the sockpuppets, remember?) released a record last month. He included an hour and a half DVD with it. On the DVD, he turned to me and said, "I'm making all this stuff at home. I don't want to sound like everybody else's crap, so I'm just doing it myself. So I want to let you know, since you probably make stuff yourself, that you can do that and people will put it out for you." He told me that, honest. You can watch the DVD yourself and he will tell you too. If you make stuff. If you don't, maybe that part of the DVD won't show up.

It made me both inspired and depressed.

With a little extra initiative, I'm sure we could be living in a world where 'nikcuS is considered "influential" and "seminal." I'll try harder in the future, ladies and gentlemen.